Who knew that early September was a dumping ground for otherwise unwatchable movies on DVD? Here we’d hope to offer you something to keep you occupied during the course of these cool late summer evenings, while the rains fall fitfully and the nip of winter has become more than a promise. Tis not to be, though, and more’s the pity.

One of the great movie disappointments earlier this year, this interminable Coen Brothers remake of the distinctive 1955 British classic black comedy about a bumbling gang of thieves is just about the most tedious, longwinded and uninvolving piece of Southern fried pseudo parody that one could possible imagine from the otherwise generally talented filmmaking team. Tom Hanks is wasted in the bizarrely Shakespearean role of Goldthwait Higginson Dorr, PhD, while the remaining cast members are full of exaggerations, insincerity, and lack of believability. An unfunny, overly stylized mess, this will be the last DVD on the shelf that you’ll want to rent.

From bad to worse, take the skull t-shirt away and this franchise could be any cookie cutter revenge flick. As the violence takes over, we are left with a protagonist whose genius for sadism makes the villains look like schoolboys pulling the wings off flies. Thomas Jane’s Frank Castle is nothing more than a weapon, a gun that keeps going off til its chamber is empty. When he’s spent, so’s the movie — but not the audience, which couldn’t care less about anyone on the screen. If you loved the Dolph Lundgren oeuvre, then this DVD is for you. Otherwise, give it a miss.
More DVD releases: Kevin Smith’s relatively watchable Jersey Girl lands on store shelves, as does the egregious Soul Plane and the exasperating The United States of Leland. To leave you on a high note, VanRamblngs offers Mayor of the Sunset Strip, a fascinating and sometimes sad documentary about a curious little man and America’s obsession with celebrity.
One final note: Andrew Morrison of Times New Roman Online sends along the information that as an alternative to renting the DVD of Robert Greenwald’s Uncovered: The Whole Truth About The Iraq War you can watch it online. Just click on the link provided. Thank you, Andrew.

In something of a departure, rather than announce and review the new DVD releases for the week, VanRamblings will point you towards a couple of new documentaries just out (or due out next week) on DVD, a DVD re-issue, plus a couple more interesting DVDs worth considering as potential rentals.
If you live in Vancouver, the place you’ll likely have to travel to in order to gain access to many of the DVDs below will be Videomatica, British Columbia’s première nostalgia, art, foreign and independent DVD rental and retail outlet. If Videomatica doesn’t have the DVD you want in their collection, then it isn’t on DVD — but, in all likelihood co-owner Graham Peat, or one of his staff, will probably be able to tell you when the DVD you’re requesting will become available, or how the store might go about ordering for you from the obscure rights holder to the DVD title.

You either love Swedish director Lars von Trier or the whole idea of Dogme has become just a bit too passé for you. However you feel about von Trier, if you love film, he’s one director who cannot be ignored, and as such Dogville will be a must rental for you this week. Be warned: for many viewers, Dogville will likely prove a polarizing, love-it-or-hate-it experience. That said, the best way to see the DVD is to know nothing about it, to trust it and have faith that it will deliver. And it does. The equal of Chaplin’s The Great Dictator, for its poetry, stridency and passion, Dogville may prove just as lasting. The first must rental of the week.

As Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore’s powerful indictment of the Bush Administration, is influencing millions of Americans in the heartland of the country to the south, Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch’s War on Journalism, a devastating new documentary that exposes Bush’s biggest cheerleader — the FOX television network — demonstrates in painful detail how one media empire, making full use of the public airwaves, can reject any semblance of fairness or perspective, and serve as the mouthpiece of right-wing conservatives (in Canada, think CanWest Global). An important, timely film, now on DVD. An absolute must rental.

Providing compelling arguments that even those on the right wing of the political spectrum will be hard pressed to refute, Uncovered: The War on Iraq is the second Robert Greenwald documentary reviewed this week on VanRamblings. Essentially a series of filmed testimonies from a broad range of commentators representing the military, diplomatic and intelligence communities — interspersed with news footage recapping the Bush administration’s buildup to the war — Uncovered delivers damning refutations of the Bush administration’s rationale for going to war with Iraq, and American conduct since becoming an occupying force. Due on DVD next week.

When Prince’s dazzling and dynamic Purple Rain, and the hypnotic hit single When Doves Cry, exploded onto the pop-culture scene in 1984, a star was born. In essence a feature-length music video, Purple Rain offered a showcase for one of the great musical artists of the last half-century. The plot (about the son of an abusive father struggling not to continue the pattern) proved to be surprisingly compelling; when complemented by a surfeit of dazzling songs (including Let’s Go Crazy and the title tune) performed in sizzling live-concert mode, there was little doubt that Purple Rain would become an essential artifact of the mid 80s pop Zeitgeist.

One of VanRamblings’ favourite movies this year (Man on Fire and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind being the two others), the year’s most peculiarly romantic film comes to the small screen this week, and it’s a keeper. Earlier this year the Globe and Mail’s Geoff Pevere raved about The Girl Next Door, while the New York Daily News’ Jami Bernard opened her review with “Once in a very long while, a truly memorable romantic teen comedy comes along. The Girl Next Door is one.” A must rental … soon.

Somewhat less racy (okay, okay … a great deal less racy) than The Girl Next Door, Ella Enchanted is the movie that Roger Ebert calls the best Cinderella themed film of the year (heck, he gave it 3½ stars). Entertainment Weekly movie critic Lisa Schwarzbaum (VanRamblings’ favourite movie reviewer, by the way) wrote, “Director Tommy O’Haver’s adaptation of Gail Carson Levine’s book is a hoot and a giggle of a girl-power fairy tale blended from potions of Monty Python, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and Shrek. Saddled with the burdensome ‘gift’ of mandatory obedience by a loose cannon fairy godmother (Vivica A. Fox), Ella of Frell (Anne Hathaway, the beaming who-ya-gonna-call of princess players) grows up at the frustrated mercy of anybody’s command. Naturally, a wicked stepmother (Joanna Lumley of Absolutely Fabulous) and horrid stepsisters (Brits Lucy Punch and Jennifer Higham) take advantage of her pliancy; naturally, a dreamy prince (Hugh Dancy) sees through to the real Ella. The sharpest jokes in this cheerily pudding-colored-looking production are visual and throwaway: The stepsisters read Damsel Zone and Medieval Teen magazine. The girls admire goblets at the Crockery Barn in the Galleria of Frell. The elves sing and dance like the teenage drama queens in Camp. Princesshood has rarely looked so tra-la-la gay.” Another must-rental this week.

Shaolin Soccer is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon with soccer balls, a touch of Sergio Leone and not one microsecond of seriousness. Stephen Chow’s Hong Kong movie, which has smashed box-office records in Asia, is about six down-and-out brothers, all former martial arts monks, who rediscover their high-flying chops when they’re invited to join a soccer team. They’ve never played the game, but it doesn’t take them long to apply their skills to the sport. Zany, giddily-inspired fun. A worthy rental.

Yes, the R-rated DVD the kids have been waiting for: the ultra violent and a tad clichéd Kill Bill – Volume 2. A dulling experience that is never more than the sum of its well-crafted parts, there’s a lot less action second time out, and a strange, tired melancholy taking the place of the adrenaline saturated buzz saw of fury that pulled young men into Volume 1. The story begins in the same place as its predecessor: in that El Paso wedding chapel where the villainous title character (David Carradine) left his nameless protégé-assassin (Uma Thurman) with a bullet in her head — only this time we see the whole setup to the crime. From there, the script jumps back to where Bill 1 ended, four years later with the heroine on the vengeance trail. As dramatically underwhelming, pointless and downright silly as the first volume, Quentin Tarantino’s love of 70s blaxpolitation and chop-socky junk films finally becomes what we’ve suspected all along: a dubious aesthetic in compensatory service of the director’s lonely childhood.

In my book, Julia Stiles can do no wrong. In The Prince and Me, a traditional fairy tale wrapped in a cloak of modernity, Ms. Stiles plays Paige Morgan, a hard-working pre-med student whose every waking moment is devoted to achieving the grades necessary to ensure acceptance to Johns Hopkins. Into the picture comes Prince Edvard Valdemar Dangaard (Luke Mably), or Eddie as he is sometimes known, the wild and bored crown prince of Denmark who, in looking for a distraction, decides to spend a year at an American university. Next thing you know, the two are in love, and …. Director Martha Coolidge brings a nice feminist twist to what is most assuredly the very best of the plethora of teen-oriented Cinderella-themed movies which have saturated the multiplexes this year. A great DVD rental.