Stories of a Life | Redux | The Ties That Bind Daughters and Fathers

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Fathers and daughters

When Megan Jessica Tomlin was born on a Saturday night, March 26th, 1977, at Burnaby General Hospital at 10:26pm, given that she was a breech birth, the hospital room was filled with a harried collection of nurses and doctors and an anesthesiologist who’d been called to assist with the birth.

As a medicated Cathy lay peacefully, stock still on her white-sheeted hospital bed — given that she was infused with anaesthetic drugs to aid in the birth, to keep her sedated for what turned out to be her second, very difficult birth — upon delivery, a nurse gathered our new daughter, Megan, and brought her over to me, as I stood to Cathy’s left, just behind where her head lay, and handed my hushed newborn daughter into my arms.

For the 10 minutes that followed, a seeming lifetime of remembrance and love, Megan her eyes all blue peered directly into my eyes and deep into my soul, and for those few brief moments I into hers, as my daughter imprinted on me / bonded with me as the father who would become in her early years, and in succeeding years through to her late teens, the single most transformative person in her life, a father she trusted & loved with all her generous heart.

In the weeks that followed Megan’s birth, the wheels began to fall off the bus that was my marriage to Cathy, as Cathy seemed to lose herself, quitting her job at the Ministry of Human Resources office, drinking, staying out all night long, and otherwise engaging in self-destructive behaviour.

Why?

The British Columbia Teachers' Federation logo

Given my position as the British Columbia Teachers’ Federation Learning and Working Conditions Chair for the Interior, and my long years of work previous with the Federation, and the great relationship I’d developed with Linda Shuto — working with her to form the first Status of Women office within an NGO anywhere on the continent — as well as BCTF President Jim McFarlane and, more especially with BCTF Vice-President Don Walmsley, as you might well expect from a Federation comprised of mainly older members, Executive plans were afoot for Federation generational leadership change — and I was targeted as the person who would become a future BCTF President.

Don Walmsley visited Cathy and me multiple times throughout 1977, in our newly acquired Interior home, to advise the both of us that plans were in process to, at the spring BCTF AGM in 1978, run me as a second vice-president of the Federation, with an eye to soon becoming BCTF President.

Here’s how the Federation saw it, Don explaining to the both of us: my organizing bona fides in the Interior had gained provincial attention, Cathy and I were a young couple “from the Interior” (the left of the Federation liked the idea of running candidates from rural areas), Cathy was a professional, was sophisticated and presented well, we had two children — we were, as far as the Federation was concerned, “the perfect couple”.

Here’s what Don Walmsley told Cathy and I …

“Next year, Raymond, we’ll run you for 2nd VP. Cathy, you can run as a Board of Education COPE trustee candidate for Vancouver School Board. Raymond, we’ll find you a job in Vancouver, find you a house, and Cathy we’ll make sure you’re employed, as well, finding you a job in the city similar to what you’re doing up here. Next year (1978), once you’re on the Executive, Raymond, and have moved down to the city, you’ll be closer to the Federation offices.

In 1979, we’ll run you for 1st VP, and depending on how the election goes for President of the Federation, if our candidate loses, we’ll run you for President in 1980. If our candidate wins, and serves a three year term, we’ll run you for President in 1983.”

Sounded good to me — and not so good to Cathy, as elucidated above.

Once Don had left our home, Cathy told me that she had no intention of having the next 20 years of her life being planned by the teachers’ federation, nor was she enamoured of the idea of living in my shadow.

Understandable.

You know how when you’re watching an awards show on TV, and the winner is (almost invariably) a man, the first person he thanks, whom he gushes over, is his wife, saying ardently, “I couldn’t have done it without her — she’s been my rock, and has stood by my side throughout the entire journey that has led to tonight. I will love you for always, my beloved.”

Believe me when I write: Cathy was having none of that arrant palaver.

Two-year-old Jude Nathan Tomlin, baby Megan Jessica, and dad, Raymond, in June 1977
The summer of 1977, when Megan was a few months old, and Jude was two years of age

Long story short, by early 1978, I had been awarded custody of both Jude and Megan, Cathy was off gallivanting around the globe, drinking and carousing with a rock ‘n roll band she’d joined — and I was left to raise our two infant children.

From the outset, Megan was a bright and engaged child, far ahead of her milestone maturational markers — walking at 9 months, speaking at age 1, reading at 18 months — and by the time she was two years of age, as in control of her environment as any 11-year-old child of my acquaintance.

Where Jude — 21 months Megan’s senior — wanted to be out and about all the time, one of the friendliest, most gregarious and social children you’d ever want to meet, Megan was quiet, reserved, pensive and thoughtful, as big a “daddy’s girl” as could possibly be imagined, by my side throughout the day, and separated from me only when she was in daycare, or asleep.

As Cathy and I often remarked to one another as Megan was growing up, “Whose child is this, anyway? Megan certainly can’t be ours — she’s just so much brighter & more capable than either of us, or both of us combined.”

For me, there has never been anyone to whom I have been closer, who has understood me and “had my number”, with whom my relationship has proved more loving & honest than has long been the case with Megan & me.

We acknowledge — as if we have known each other across many lifetimes — that we have found one another on this Earth, in this lifetime, and as I josh Megan by referring to her as her very own diety, in this life the two of us take succour in the knowledge that we love one another, that as we live lives that are separate, Megan now married with children, and me in my west side home spending hours each day writing stories just like this, that as we run across one another from time to time, as we often do in my Kitsilano neighbourhood, that the first words each of us will utter will be, “I love you” — as we set about to continue our day.


The knowing glance tells you everything you need to know about fathers & daughters.

#Cinema | Ageless Auteurs Veteran Directors Set The Standard in Hollywood

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81-year-old Academy Award winning American director Martin Scorcese

In an industry often perceived as dominated by youth and the next big thing, the continuing contributions of directors over 65 years of age are a testament to the timeless nature of cinematic storytelling.

Far from being sidelined, these seasoned filmmakers bring a depth of experience, wisdom, and a unique perspective that enriches the cinematic landscape.

Hollywood and global cinema alike benefit immensely from their ongoing work, as they challenge the norms and push creative boundaries well into their later years.

Mark Twain once quipped, “Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it, it doesn’t matter.”

When you consider the work of acclaimed American director Martin Scorsese, age certainly isn’t making a difference.

After landing 10 Oscar nominations for last year’s historical crime epic Killers of the Flower Moon, the 81-year-old director has mapped out his next several projects. Sources say he plans to shoot two films back to back: the first about Jesus, the second a Frank Sinatra biopic.

Scorsese isn’t the only director from the over-75 set who is doing some of his most ambitious work.


Adam Driver and Nathalie Emmanuel star in Francis Ford Coppola’s new film, Megalopolis

The Cannes competition lineup this year featured three of his compatriots: 85-year-old Francis Ford Coppola (with Megalopolis), 81-year-old Canadian director David Cronenberg (The Shrouds), and 77-year-old Paul Schrader (Oh, Canada).

Their productive later years are remarkable considering Hollywood hasn’t always been kind to aging auteurs — Billy Wilder (Some Like It Hot, The Apartment), for instance, spent his final two decades struggling to get one more movie produced.

“I’m sure most artists want to keep working, but sometimes you’re not fortunate enough, lucky enough, good enough to stay in the arena,” Schrader, who wrote the screenplay for Scorsese’s seminal 1976 film Taxi Driver, told journalists at Cannes.

“And if you don’t have that creative motivation, you’re just gonna get called out as an emblem of something that used to be. But I had to keep working. I had some COVID health problems, and every time I thought that I might die, I would get a new idea.”

At 86, Ridley Scott is literally staying in the arena.


86-year-old British director Ridley Scott readies for the release of a sequel to his 2000 film, Gladiator

Footage from his long-awaited return to the Colosseum for a Gladiator sequel emerged as a favourite at CinemaCon this year, where Paramount showed epic scenes to movie theatre executives, dominating the headlines out of Las Vegas.

Perhaps because Scott continues to work with top-notch below-the-line crew members, the swords-and-sandals saga, which stars Paul Mescal and Denzel Washington, looked more finished seven months ahead of its November 22 release than some superhero tentpoles on opening night.

“Ridley Scott is the master of creating the kinds of movie spectacles that the cinematic experience was created for and is among the most tenacious and vibrant auteurs working today,” Paramount CEO Brian Robbins told the crowd at the April 11 presentation. Robbins told those gathered that he will be working with Scott on his next movie, a Bee Gees biopic for Paramount.


77-year-old celebrated American director, Steven Spielberg, readies to film his next movie

For his part, Steven Spielberg, at age 77, is also staying busy. Spielberg is reportedly already at work on his next project, a UFO film based on his own original idea. David Koepp is writing the screenplay, sources say.

But maybe no feat of career longevity is as impressive as that of Clint Eastwood.
The 93-year-old director just wrapped postproduction on Juror No. 2.

Insiders say Warner Bros. is thrilled by what it has seen of the Nicholas Hoult thriller about a murder trial juror who realizes he may be at fault for the victim’s death. If the film is ultimately embraced, that will offer a fitting plot twist considering several studios passed on the low-risk, low-budget film.


Clint Eastwood began his career in Hollywood in 1954, 70 years ago this year. And he’s still active!

Even at 93, Eastwood should never be counted out.


87-year-old British auteur Ken Loach’s latest film, The Old Oak — released earlier this year — has emerged as one of VanRamblings’ favourite films of 2024. A must-watch. Available On Demand.

Across the Atlantic, British director Ken Loach, 87, remains a powerful voice in cinema. Renowned for his socially conscious films, Loach’s most recent work, The Old Oak won accolades at Cannes in May, the title referring to the last pub standing in a once thriving mining village in northern England, a gathering space for a community that has fallen on hard times.

Other notable directors of an age …

Margarethe von Trotta, 81. The leading New German Cinema director just released her latest, Ingeborg Bachmann — Journey Into the Desert.

Werner Herzog, 81. The acclaimed German director has been making films since the 1960s.

Stephen Frears, 82. The British director of The Queen and Dangerous Liaisons, released The Lost King earlier this year.

Brian De Palma, 83. The Untouchables and Carrie director is in pre-production for his next film, Sweet Vengeance, a murder mystery.


Master Japanese filmmaker, and co-founder of Studio Ghibli, 82-years-young Hayao Miyazaki

In Japan, Hayao Miyazaki, co-founder of Studio Ghibli, at 82, is once again coming out of retirement to direct How Do You Live?

Miyazaki’s films, characterized by their imaginative storytelling and profound emotional depth, have left an indelible mark on animation and global cinema. Miyazaki’s return to filmmaking is eagerly anticipated by fans worldwide, underscoring the lasting impact of his creative genius.

The continued success of these directors challenges ageist assumptions within the industry and society at large.

Their work exemplifies how experience can enhance artistic expression, offering rich, nuanced narratives that often elude younger filmmakers. Moreover, their ability to adapt to technological advancements and changing audience tastes underscores their relevance in a rapidly evolving industry.

These directors also serve as mentors and role models, guiding the next generation of filmmakers. Their careers offer valuable lessons in perseverance, adaptability, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. The stories they tell and the methods they employ reflect decades of accumulated knowledge and insights, providing a treasure trove of learning for aspiring directors.

In a broader sense, the ongoing contributions of directors over 65 highlight the importance of diversity in storytelling.

Just as the industry has made strides toward greater inclusivity in terms of race, gender, and sexuality, recognizing and valuing the contributions of older filmmakers is crucial. The work of elder directors adds richness and diversity to the cinematic tapestry, ensuring that film remains a medium that reflects the full spectrum of human experience.

#BCPoli | B.C. Conservative Leader Not the Aw Shucks Guy He Bills Himself As

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John Rustad, the ‘climate change denying’ (transphobic) leader of the upstart B.C. Conservative party — destined to become, either, British Columbia’s next Premier, or at the very least form the official Opposition in the next session of B.C.’s Legislature — portrays himself as an ‘aw shucks’ kind of guy, a ‘man of the people’ who hails from the hinterland, someone who has your best interests at heart, not to mention, a democrat of the first order, and the furthest thing you could possibly imagine from a died-in-the-wool autocrat, a detestable top down kind of fella.

Don’t you believe his ‘aw shucks’ persona for a second.

John Rustad — long a Cabinet Minister in Gordon Campbell’s and Christy Clark’s B.C. Liberal Party — is very much the autocratic / ‘my way or the highway’ kind of leader of the once moribund, but now seemingly thriving, BC Conservative party.

If Alec Lazenby’s PostMedia article published in the Vancouver Sun yesterday is to be believed — and who is going to question Mr. Lazenby’s well-searched, and well-sourced article? — as the headline of the article reads, B.C. Conservative constituency executive resigns as controversy swirls over party’s nomination process …

“In its haste to nominate 93 candidates in time for October’s provincial election, the B.C. Conservative party has angered some rank-and-file members by bypassing grassroots decision-making.

Last week, the president of the party’s Vernon-Lumby association — in charge of raising money and selecting a candidate for the riding — resigned after rumours that party leader John Rustad planned to parachute former federal Conservative hopeful Kevin Kraft into the riding.”

Mr. Lazenby’s article goes on to state …

“Last week, it was revealed the party had held discussions with former B.C. Liberal leadership contestant Gavin Dew about running in Vernon-Lumby, before ultimately deciding to place him in Kelowna-Mission after ousting Alexandra Wright as that riding’s candidate.”

In point of fact, Gavin Dew refused John Rustad’s entreaty to run in the Vernon-Lumby riding, as he makes his home — with his wife, former Vancouver Park Board Commissioner Erin Shum, and their two young children — in the south Okanagan city of Kelowna.

The next shoe to drop?

Gavin Dew, a one-time hopeful leader of the BC Liberal party was offered the BC Conservative seat of Kelowna-Mission, following the unceremonious ouster of longtime, loyal conservative Kelowna activist Alexandra Wright — up until Mr. Dew’s latter day ascension as a newly-minted BC Conservative candidate — the once-upon-a-time, but no more, elected by the constituency association to become their local BC Conservative candidate for Kelowna-Mission in the coming provincial election.

Is unhappiness with how John Rustad runs the BC Conservative party limited only to the south Okanagan Vernon-Lumby and Kelowna-Mission constituencies?

Nope. According to Mr. Lazenby …

“On June 7, Kari Simpson, the vice-president of the party’s Langley-Abbotsford association, asked the B.C. Supreme Court to cancel a nomination meeting scheduled for the next day.

Simpson’s complaint centred on party president Aisha Estey threatening to remove the local association’s board members if they didn’t delay the meeting by a week.

There is such a furore within the BC Conservative party, and its membership, that a cadre of party members have called on John Rustad to resign as party leader.

More recently, Mr. Lazenby’s article reads, “the party has had to respond to a group calling itself a “grassroots organization of B.C. Conservative supporters,” which put up a website calling for the firing of John Rustad over his appointment of candidates who were members of other parties, such as recent B.C. United defector Teresa Wat in Richmond-Bridgeport and former NDP MLA Gwen O’Mahoney in Nanaimo-Lantzville.”

Rob Shaw, in an article published in Business in Vancouver on Monday, writes …

“There’s a movement afoot within the BC Conservative party to fire leader John Rustad.

Some party members have been receiving a letter that accuses Rustad of “diluting” the Conservative brand by accepting floor-crossing BC United candidates, as well as candidates previously associated with the BC NDP.

Disgruntled BC Conservative party members write on their hastily published Fire John Rustad website … “We are writing to you today to raise the alarm about John Rustad’s recent welcoming of pro-Beijing and former BC Liberal MLA, Teresa Wat, into the BC Conservative Party with no regards for the voices of grassroots members,” it reads.

“We are a grassroots organization of BC Conservative supporters who have been around long before John Rustad’s appointment as leader, and will be around long after he’s gone.

“While we continue to support the party and look forward to forming government, we must put a stop to John’s diluting of our party.”

On March 26th of this year, VanRamblings wrote about the “bozo eruptions” that would most assuredly hinder the BC Conservative party from gaining government post the October 19th British Columbia provincial election.

Since that date, the BC Conservative party has jettisoned several nominated candidates over social media posts, including Esquimalt-Colwood hopefuls Jan Webb and Dr. Stephen Malthouse of Ladysmith-Oceanside, both who falsely claimed COVID-19 vaccines make you shed spike proteins and could make you magnetic.

Other BC Conservative candidates have left quietly, such as UFC fighter Jason Day of Columbia River-Revelstoke who made comments in May on social media that accused the World Health Organization of wanting to “achieve world government” by removing “from the minds of men, their individualism, loyalty to family traditions, national patriotism and religious dogmas.”

Constituency nominated BC Conservative Kyle Schell was recently replaced by John Rustad with Tony Luck in the riding of Fraser-Nicola, where Mr. Luck will go up against popular, longtime BC United MLA, Jackie Tegart.

The question arises: Are the wheels coming off the BC Conservative campaign bus, even before the provincial election campaign begins in earnest following the dropping of the Writ on Saturday, September 21st?

In an article published in the Burnaby Now, Global BC Legislative reporter Keith Baldrey writes …

The B.C. Conservatives, a moribund party for decades, is leading all parties with 81 people named as candidates, in the 93 ridings that will be up for grabs this October.

The NDP is not far behind, with 74 candidates nominated or named so far and another 13 people in the process of becoming one.

As for both the B.C. United and B.C. Green parties, given that they’re having a difficult time finding candidates to fill the 93 open slots, both parties will likely install party or caucus staffers as candidates to fill out their roster, if they need to.

Employing his autocratic style, rather than adhere to democratic engagement and allow ridings to nominate the local candidates of their choosing, instead Mr. Rustad has chosen to appoint his “preferred” BC Conservative candidates, thereby squelching community and local riding association input into who these local riding association members believe will best represent their interests in Victoria.

Sad that. Not to mention, anti-democratic and bullying.

But that’s the BC Conservative party heading into 2024’s B.C. provincial election.

#BCPoli | Polls, Polls and More Useless Damn Polls

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VanRamblings’ believes that Quitto Maggi’s Mainstreet Research poll on the positioning of the four main political parties in our province to be so much malarkey.

Unlike the Abacus poll we quoted yesterday that gives David Eby’s BC NDP a solid five-point lead over John Rustad’s upstart BC Conservatives — which ran only 19 provincial candidates in the 2020 British Columbia election, with 35,902 votes cast across the province for candidates running with the party, securing a paltry 1.91% of the popular vote — yesterday’s Mainstreet poll gives the BC Conservatives a 3-point lead in the popular vote, well within the poll’s multi-point margin of error.

On Tuesday, VanRamblings suggested that the Mainstreet poll was little more than a push poll, designed to influence prospective voters still sitting on the fence as to who they will cast their ballot. Further, Mr. Maggi’s Mainstreet Research polling has consistently over the years undercounted support for John Horgan or David Eby’s BC NDP provincially, and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Liberal party, federally.

Further, the Abacus poll, unlike the Mainstreet poll, results were broken down by region, giving David Eby’s BC NDP an insurmountable nine-point lead across Metro Vancouver and Vancouver Island, well outside of the 3.2% margin of error …

Out of a potential British Columbia voting population of more than four million adults who are eligible to cast a ballot at advance polls this early October, or on Election Day, October 19th, Mainstreet’s survey interviewed only 962 respondents, employing wildly unreliable automated telephone interviews as Mainstreet’s sole source of information, without any reference whatsoever to voter intention.

Further, Mainstreet’s published survey results fail to break down respondent response by the area of the province where respondents live, be it in the Metro Vancouver region, on Vancouver Island, the Okanagan, the Interior or the North.

Now, as it happens, the BC Conservatives have in their employ Canada’s best Conservative pollster, Dmitri Pantazopoulos — about whom we will write another day. Only the BC Conservative election team, and leader John Rustad — and certainly not everyday British Columbians — will see the results of Mr. Pantazopoulous’ intricate and wildly reliable daily polling results, intensive nightly surveys of those who live in each of British Columbians’ the ridings Mr. Pantazopoulos has deemed — and  targeted — as winnable for John Rustad’s BC Conservatives, the 50+ ridings that would give Mr. Rustad the winning Legislative majority, and government over the next four years.


Dimitri Pantazopoulos (above) will play a key role in determining the outcome of the 2024 BC election

The role of a prescient Mr. Pantazopoulous in determining the outcome of 2024 British Columbia election is a column VanRamblings will save for another day.