Yes, kiddies, it’s that wonderful time of the week once again.
After 7 glorious days of righting the wrongs of the world, slagging Gordon Campbell and George Bush (and don’t they deserve it), and just generally attempting to create a universe in which all of us can live in peace and harmony, once again it is time for your favourite Saturday night feature — The Unbelievable Truth.
Time for a bit of the down and dirty, stuff you could really care less about, but care desperately about anyway (and isn’t that the way of the world), news — salacious news, even — that offers you and I a respite from the trials and tribulations of our far too busy, yet all-too-prosaic, lives.
Then again …

Michael Jackson: too weird for words

WACKO JACKO FACES 74 YEARS !!!
And where else did you think we were going to start this week? Slumped in a chair with his head bowed, Michael Jackson yesterday learned he would now be facing 10 charges in his child sex abuse case. All totalled, he could be handed 74 years of prison time if convicted of every offence.
A new charge of conspiracy was laid, relating to an alleged abduction — prosecutors claim Jacskon attempted to convince the youngster to flee to Brazil when it became clear he would name the star — false imprisonment and extortion of 12-year-old accuser Gavin Arviso, who accused Jackson of molesting him and engaging in lurid acts.

Continue reading Yes, kiddies, it’s that →

HOWARD STERN VS. OPRAH
All the while that the Federal Communications Commission is crying foul about disc jockey Howard Stern’s behaviour on American radio, notorious afternoon talk show time waster Oprah Winfrey has been dirtying the broadcast airways with sex talk that would curl your hair.
On a recent show, an Oprah magazine writer described in jawdropping, lewd detail, the latest fads in teen sex. Viewers learned that a “tossed salad,” had little to do with healthy eating, but instead referred to oral sex to the anus. The guest went on to describe “rainbow” parties — gatherings at which a gaggle of lipstick-wearing young girls provide oral sex to one or more males.
Robert Hilliard, co-author of Dirty Discourse: Sex and Indecency in American Radio, feels that shows like Oprah’s pass muster because they inform, not titillate. Shyeaah, right …

FIRE BURNS HOT !!!
The buzz on Denzel Washington’s new flick, Man on Fire, is hotter than a June bride on her wedding night. Action-packed with a great big dollop of heart right at its centre, Denzel’s work on screen is nothing less than superb, as combustible as we’ve ever seen him. And, don’t let 10-year-old co-star Dakota Fanning’s tender years fool you — she’s a professional through and through, matching Denzel’s work scene-for-scene in Tony Scott’s flammably intense production.

Continue reading HOWARD STERN VS. OPRAH →

Beckham asks Sarah: pose nude (click on pic for scandalous details)

Yes, for all you ardant VanRamblings readers, there’s no hiding from the truth for beleaguered footballer David Beckham.
According to this week’s News of the World, Becks confessed a series of passionate affairs to his devastated pop-star wife, a grim Victoria Beckham (née Posh Spice). The £1million pink diamond ring and earrings that Becks gave Posh for her birthday today hardly makes up for the news of the nights of passion in luxury hotels and the streams of explicit text messages he’s been sharing with 29-year-old Malaysian-born model Sarah Marbeck, and his other cuddlebunny, Rebecca Loos. Ms. Loos is planning to tell the story of their torrid affair this Monday in a second BBC interview, following her Thursday interview on Sky One.

Continue reading Beckham asks Sarah: pose →

After a week of righting the wrongs of the world, slagging Dubya (and doesn’t he deserve it), and carrying on about all sorts of the flotsam and jetsam of everyday life on planet Earth, late Saturday evening will be set aside for some good ol’ fashioned scurrilous gossip, stuff that you could really care less about (but care desperately about, anyway … and ain’t that the way of the world). Look for the column each and every Saturday night.
Here to quench your thirst for the down and dirty (okay, admit it, you too glance at the National Enquirer and News of the World, and their ilk, each time you find yourself at the check-out stand at your local grocer’s … fess up now), each Saturday evening VanRamblings will perform a public service beyond compare (and, hey, if the new feature brings a few new visitors to the site, that’s a good thing, too, don’t you think). Then again, maybe not.
Who’s schtupping whom, which celebrity / politician / capitalist war-mongering oinker is in trouble this week? Well, VanRamblings is the place where you’ll find the answers to all of these pressing questions, and oh, so much more. And, as we say, you’ll see it here each Saturday night.
The Entertainment Tonight / News of the World / National Enquirer of the blogging world, each Saturday evening join the party, step up to the table, and take a taste of VanRamblings’ fine Canadian cheese. M-m-m-m, good.