Renée Zellweger: Renée say it ain’t so, or are you just trying to be ‘one of us’

This oh-so-lovely photo from People Magazine suggests that Renée was right on the money when she screamed at a group of paparazzi who were trying to take her photo last week, “I am a normal person!” Yes, sweet Renée, you most certainly are.

Gee, Clay, the same setup did nothing for Tom Cruise, either. Trying to quash those rumours that he’s as gay as a 4th of July parade, failed American Idol Clay Aiken sexually harasses a poor, unsuspecting PR rep. As the Defamer says, “It’s going to take nothing less than full-motion video with penetration to kill those rumours, Clay.” But a nice try nonetheless.
Don’t forget to have a look at Friday night’s special edition of The Unbelievable Truth, an update on the Jessica Cutler story.

Alexandra Kerry

Here’s this week’s potpourri of flotsam and jetsam:
In Hollywood news: The Day After Tomorrow is on track to becoming the second film this month to top $100 million dollars in its opening weekend, with a Friday night opening gross of $24,300,000. Full details of the weekend box office will be published on VanRamblings on Sunday.
John Kerry, Democratic Presidential hopeful, would seem to have more than just Bushie to worry about on the road to the White House. Alexandra Kerry, his oldest daughter (that’s her to the right) could probably use some fashion advice — Paris, where are you when we need you? — given that she appears to be dressed in not quite the appropriate fashion one might expect of the daughter of the person who would be the next President of the United States.
Still, she does look kind of fetching, don’t you think?
Hello, world, I’m this totally famous actor, but don’t go and try and figure out who I am! Did I mention I’m nailing this actress whose name I can’t print?: So says the mysterious Rance, the anonymous A-list actor / author of the ‘cult blog du jour’, as he sets about to skewer Hollywood and the cult of celebrity. Is the anonymous blogger Ben Affleck, George Clooney, Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, Matthew Perry, or Luke Wilson? Whatever the case, once Rance is finally outed (it’s only a matter of time), look for this Hollywood puzzle to become the next big story on the ’Net.
Good to know the people of Chicago are safe: Mayor Mark Delaney and Police Chief Chester Morris, responsible for upholding the law in the tiny Chicago burb of Maple Park, in Kane County, were arrested Friday night in an illegal-gambling raid that played out at a popular local tavern’s steak fry.

Hooters calendar girls go to Afghanistan to cheer up the troops: That’ll make the wives back home feel a lot better, knowing that their husbands’ emotional lives are being taken care of while so very far, far away.
A New York City executive racks up $28,000 worth of champagne and lap dancing in a single evening.

Elizabeth Jagger

Rock ’n roll heaven among the progeny of rock’s royalty: Late Beatle John Lennon’s musician son Sean and model Elizabeth Jagger, daughter of Rolling Stone Mick Jagger, are dating. Confirmation of this comes from none other than Elizabeth’s mother, Jerry Hall. Sean is 28 and Elizabeth is 20. “They are so in love,” says Jerry of the couple.
A fun day at the fertility clinic when the doctor tells the clueless German couple that their childless state is a result of their never having had sex.
Quote of the week: “I’m still boning 18-year-old chicks because I was in Guns N’ Roses. It happens every day to me, so I’ll fucking take it as far as I can.” — sad commentary by Matt Sorum, drummer for Guns N’ Roses.

Welcome to a special Friday night edition of The Unbelievable Truth, your weekly (but this week appearing twice) guide to the down and dirty, stuff that has almost no impact on our lives but stuff we seem to care about anyway. Salacious, gossipy, full of sex and bordering on the libelous — once again, The Unbelievable Truth offers you and I a respite from the trials and tribulations of our far too busy, yet all-too-prosaic, lives.

Jessica Cutler: Washington, D.C. Enthralled With Nymph Behaviour

Washingtonienne = Jessica Cutler

You wanted her, you’ve got her. More information about Jessica Cutler than you’ll find anywhere else on the ’Net
Last week, we introduced you to the Tart of the Potomac. This week we’ll fill you in on everything that the delectable Ms. Cutler has been up to since the story of her horizontal mambo-dancing with the high and mighty in the U.S. national capitol was first brought to prominence in Ana Marie Cox’s Wonkette blog last Friday (as for VanRamblings, we’re just waiting for the story to break on just what Ms. Cutler was up to with George W. during the period that she was a college student … hey, it might even help poor ol’ Bushie in the polls … not that we want to do anything like that, you understand).
Well, first off, the name-calling by Republican apparatchiks has ramped up in earnest. Michelle Malkin, in an article titled The skanks on Capitol Hill, goes on the attack, as she makes passing reference to “Cutler’s indecent conduct, glib rationalizations and in-your-face shamelessness,” placing the “vulgar little episode” into the context of a Girls Gone Wild culture run rampant in the U.S.

Next, Ms. Malkin turns on Ana Marie Cox for bringing Ms. Cutler’s trysts with older men to light, and the “narcissism, moral bankruptcy and self-congratulatory media-political incest’ engendered in their symbiotic — and profitable — relationship. Finally, Ms. Malkin brings out the heavy artillery, as she takes the Washington Post to task for publishing this story about “two vain, young, trash-mouthed skanks who couldn’t care less about what their parents think of their sex-drenched infamy.” Michelle, tell us how you really feel.
Then there are these updates: Jessica is a 26, not 24, as she’s been telling everyone. And, Richard Leiby — the Reliable Source at The Washington — in a published version of an online interview confirms that Jessica Cutler did not attend Syracuse University, as was stated on her résumé. You mean, Jessica is being less than truthful. We’re shocked!
The improbably-named I Love Jenna Bush blog has published details about Jessie’s trysts, naming names and stoking the fires even more.
For those who haven’t seen it, Nerve Magazine has an interview (about half way down the page) with Jessie, the naughty, naughty girl.
Sad to say, it seem like Jessie’s father, Robert Cutler, was the last to know about his daughter’s little Washingtonienne imbroglio.
Meanwhile, tonight, the National Debate website has confirmed earlier rumours that Playboy wants Jessie for a nude shoot. Apparently, there’s a six-figure sum on offer (that’s a million or more to you or me). No word on the purported Manhattan book deal, and Jessie’s relocation to Gotham City.

Washingtonienne = Jessica Cutler

On Friday, Ohio Republican Senator Mike DeWine fired Jessica Cutler, the female ‘entry level’ staffer who had authored a Weblog that has been the talk of Capitol Hill, because it chronicled her racy, sexual exploits with a married political appointees and other men, often for money.
Ms. Cutler, who used the pseudonym Washingtonienne claimed in her blog that she was paid for having sex with the chief of staff at a federal agency. “Most of my living expenses are thankfully subsidized by a few generous older gentlemen,” Cutler wrote. “I’m sure I am not the only one who makes money on the side this way: How can anybody live on $25K/year?”
Following her dismissal, Ana Marie Cox, website editor of the Washington-based blog, Wonkette, interviewed Cutler, who says …

“I’m not ashamed of anything I wrote in the blog. And people are sad if they’re interested in such a low level sex scandal … The blog is really about a bunch of nobodies fucking each other. I still can’t believe people care … But everything that I say happened, absolutely happened …”

The last you’ll read about this story (yikes !!!) on VanRamblings: The Washington Post’s Reliable Source writes The Hill’s Sex Diarist Reveals All.
Ms. Cutler comes to Washington to what? Change the world? Make it a better place in which to live? Ah, the cynicism of youth. Ya gotta love it.
There’s a VanRamblings’ update of the Jessica Cutler story available here.

Returning after a two week break, it’s The Unbelievable Truth, your weekly guide to the down and dirty, gossip à la contraire, where we offer a needed respite from news about Bush, Rumsfeld, Iraq, and British Columbia’s very own right-wing prick, Premier Gordon Campbell.

Google Looks for WMD’s
Someone at Google apparently has a sense of humour. VanRamblings ran across this at Talk Left …
1) Go to www.Google.com
2) Type in (but don’t hit enter): “weapons of mass destruction”
3) Hit the “I’m feeling lucky” button instead of the normal “Google search” button.
4) Read what appears to be a normal ERROR message. Read it ALL.

Continue reading Returning after a two →