Category Archives: Jude and Megan

Stories of a Life | 1974 | Cathy & Raymond’s European Vacation

Traveling on a train across Europe, with a Eurail Pass, in the 1970s

In the summer of 1974, Cathy and I travelled to Europe for a three-month European summer vacation, BritRail and Eurail passes in hand, this was going to be a summer vacation to keep in our memory for always.

And so it proved to be …

On another day, in another post evoking memories of our cross-continental European sabbatical, I’ll relate more stories of what occurred that summer.

Train travel in Spain, in the 1970s, as the train makes its way around the bend

Only 10 days prior to the event I am about to relate, Cathy and I had arrived in Lisbon, Portugal, alighting from a cruise liner we’d boarded in Southampton, England (passage was only 5£s, much cheaper than now).

After a couple of wonderful days in Lisbon, Cathy and I embarked on the first part of our hitchhiking sojourn throughout every portion of Portugal we could get to, finally traveling along the Algarve before arriving in the south of the country, ready to board a train to Spain. Unfortunately, I developed some intestinal disorder or other, requiring rest and fluids. Once Cathy could see that I was going to be fine, she left the confines of our little pensão to allow me to recover in peace, returning with stories of her having spent a wonderful day at the beach with an enthusiastic retinue of young Portuguese men, who had paid attention to and flirted with her throughout the day. Cathy was in paradisiacal heaven; me, not so much.

Still, I was feeling better, almost recovered from my intestinal malady, and the two of us made a decision to be on our way the next morning.

Traveling from the south of Portugal to Spain, in the 1970s

To say that I was in a bad mood when I got onto the train is to understate the matter. On the way to the station, who should we run into but the very group of amorous men Cathy had spent the previous day with, all of whom were beside themselves that this braless blonde goddess of a woman was leaving their country, as they beseeched her to “Stay, please stay.” Alas, no luck for them; this was my wife, and we were going to be on our way.

Still suffering from the vestiges of both an irritable case of jealousy and a now worsening intestinal disorder, I was in a foul mood once we got onto the train, and as we pulled away from the station, my very loud and ill-tempered mood related in English, those sitting around us thinking that I must be some homem louco, and not wishing in any manner to engage.

A few minutes into my decorous rant, a young woman walked up to me, and asked in the boldest terms possible …

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

“Huh,” I asked?

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? That’s the filthiest mouth I’ve ever heard. You’ve got to teach me how to swear!”

At which point, she sat down across from me, her lithe African American dancer companion moving past me to sit next to her. “Susan. My name is Susan. This is my friend, Danelle,” she said, pointing in the direction of Danelle. “We’re from New York. We go to school there. Columbia. I’m in English Lit. Danelle’s taking dance — not hard to tell, huh? You two traveling through Europe, are you?” Susan all but shouted. “I come from a large Jewish family. You? We’re traveling through Europe together.”
And thus began a beautiful friendship. Turns out that Susan could swear much better than I could; she needed no instruction from me. Turns out, too, that she had my number, and for all the weeks we traveled together through Europe, Susan had not one kind word for me — she set about to make my life hell, and I loved every minute of it. Susan became the sister I wished I’d had, profane, self-confident, phenomenally bright and opinionated, her acute dissection of me done lovingly and with care, to this day one of the best and most loving relationships I’ve ever had.

Little known fact about me: I love being called out by bright, emotionally healthy, socially-skilled and whole women.

Two-year-old Jude Nathan Tomlin, baby Megan Jessica, and dad, Raymond, in June 1977The summer of 1974, when Cathy became pregnant with Jude, on the right above.

Without the women in my life, Cathy or Megan, my daughter — when Cathy and I separated — Lori, Justine, Alison, Patricia, Julienne or Melissa, each of whom loved me, love me still, and made me a better person, the best parts of me directly attributable to these lovely women, to whom I am so grateful for caring enough about me to make me a better person.

Now onto the raison d’être of this first installment of Stories of a Life.

Once Susan and I had settled down — there was an immediate connection between Susan and I, which Cathy took as the beginnings of an affair the two of us would have (as if I would sleep with my sister — Danelle, on the other hand, well … perhaps a story for another day, but nothing really happened, other than the two of us becoming close, different from Susan).

J. D. Salinger's Nine Stories, an anthology of short stories published in April 1953

Danelle saw a ragged copy of J.D. Salinger’s Nine Stories peeking out of Cathy’s backpack. “Okay,” she said. “In rounds, let’s each one of us give the title of one of the Salinger short stories,” which we proceeded to do. Cathy was just now reading Salinger, while I’d read the book while we were still in England, about three weeks earlier.

Cathy started first, For Esmé — with Love and Squalor. Danelle, Teddy. Susan, showing off, came up with A Perfect Day for Bananafish, telling us all, “That story was first published in the January 31, 1948 edition of The New Yorker.” Show off! I was up next, and came up with Uncle Wiggily in Connecticut. Phew — just barely came up with that one! Thank goodness.
Onto the second round: Cathy, Down at the Dinghy; Danelle, Pretty Mouth and Green My Eyes; Susan, showing off again, De Daumier-Smith’s Blue Period, “turned down by The New Yorker in late 1951, and published by the British Information World Review, early in 1952.” Me? Struggling yet again, but subject to a momentary epiphany, I blurted out, Just Before the War with the Eskimos. There we were, eight stories down and one to go.

But do you think any one of us could come up with the title to the 9th tale in Salinger’s 1953 anthology of short stories? Nope. We thought about it, and thought about it — and nothing, nada, zero, zilch. We racked our brains, and we simply couldn’t come up with the title of the 9th short story.

We sat there, hushed. For the first time in about half an hour, there was silence between us, only the voices of children on the train, and the clickety-clack of the tracks as the train relentlessly headed towards Madrid.

We couldn’t look at one another. We were, as a group, downcast, looking up occasionally at the passing scenery, only furtively glancing at one another, only periodically and with reservation, as Cathy held onto my arm, putting hers in mine, Danelle looking up, she too wishing for human contact.

Finally, Susan looked up at me, looked directly at me, her eyes steely and hard yet … how do I say it? … full of love and confidence in me, that I somehow would be the one to rescue us from the irresolvable dilemma in which we found ourselves. Beseechingly, Susan’s stare did not abate …

The Laughing Man,” I said, “The Laughing Man! The 9th story in Salinger’s anthology is …” and before I could say the words, I was smothered in kisses, Cathy to my left, Susan having placed herself in my lap, kissing my cheeks, my lips, my forehead, and when she found herself unable to catch her breath, Danelle carrying on where Susan had left off, more tender than Susan, loving and appreciative, Cathy now holding me tight, love all around us. A moment that will live in me always, a gift of the landscape of my life.

Christmas | A Guide to Spending Christmas Alone | Comfort & Joy

A Guide to Spending A COVID-19 Christmas Alone, in this pandemic year of isolation

Many of us spend our lives surrounded by people. On the 25th of December, we can embrace the quiet and enjoy Christmas undisturbed.

There can be so much pressure around Christmas and other holidays — pressure to celebrate, pressure to socialize, pressure to follow traditions, pressure to eat too much and drink yourself to excess. Ultimately, there is pressure to be happy. And that’s an awful lot of pressure to lay on anyone — especially as we know that Christmas isn’t an easy time for everyone.

Merry Christmas 2020

The purpose of today’s VanRamblings column is to help you come to terms with what will be for all of us an unusually quiet, and near — if not actual, in many cases — solitary Christmas & holiday season, following Dr. Bonnie Henry’s plea that we hunker down alone during Christmas season 2020.

Sitting around at home on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, lounging around in your socks and pyjamas

‘Tis the season for attending parties galore (yes, Zoom celebrations count, too!), decking your halls — and, of course, your Christmas tree — with festive decorations, checking out all the magical light displays, and binge-watching classic holiday movies. Not to mention spending Christmas Day (and Eve!) listening to holiday songs on repeat, partaking in time-honoured traditions, and doing it all — ideally — while wearing your pyjamas.

So it’s no surprise that the prospect of spending Christmas alone — whether for the first time or the twentieth time — can feel, well, not always so merry and bright.

But here’s the thing: You’re not alone. The reality is that plenty of people spend their holidays solo. Some people have demanding work schedules that make it difficult to travel, while others might not have the money for expensive round-trip tickets, and others simply want to spend Christmas alone. That’s true in a normal year — but perhaps even more so in 2020, when many of us will be celebrating Christmas without friends or family due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic and social distancing guidelines.

And while, yes, you’ll probably miss your mom’s legendary bread pudding, there are plenty of things you might be happy to skip, like faking your surprise (and excitement) when Aunt Sue gives you yet another gormless polyester tie, sitting through the same political debates, and having to get dressed up just to eat at your own dining room table, to name a few.

Whether by choice or circumstance, there is plenty to do on Christmas Day that you can enjoy doing alone, from catching up on the acclaimed and award-worthy Netflix or Amazon Prime TV shows you’ve heard so much about, to indulging in some much-needed self-care — like going for a walk in the neighbourhood, where you’re bound to run into friends — to starting a new tradition, whatever that may be that will provide you solace.

You don’t have to stand by and have a blue Christmas.

Which is exactly why VanRamblings has rounded up 9 simple ways to spend Christmas solo, all of which will bring joy to your world.

1. Let’s start with the obvious. Dive into a book.

Dive into a Christmas alone by reading a book, to transport you to another time and place

Picking up a book (whether it’s a thriller, that book written by a friend of yours, or that political book you became aware of thanks to another friend), can help you escape into an entirely different reality, and one that you don’t usually have time to explore. Didn’t plan ahead? Download a reading app. iPhones and iPads have a built-in reading app, allowing you to buy books from Apple Books. Amazon, which started out as a company marketing books, has a huge library of downloadable books you can read on your Kindle App. Imagine, there you are snuggled up in bed, toasty warm, a warming beverage by your night stand and maybe a snack, as well, ready to read that book you’ve been meaning to get to. Joy indescribable!

2. Cook a feast, or have one delivered.

A roast turkey dinner served on Christmas Day

A friend was asking the other day, “Where could I order a great turkey dinner, and have it delivered?” The answer, in Vancouver, to that question offers you near limitless opportunities.

In 2020, all of the Denny’s Restaurant locations are offering a traditional turkey dinner for four, for only $59.99. Tender carved turkey breast, savoury stuffing, garlic red-skinned mashed potatoes, turkey gravy, cranberry sauce and your choice of broccoli or sweet petite corn. In this case, they’d like you to pick up the dinner, allowing you to reheat the dinners when you arrive home. You could have Uber or a taxi deliver it.


In 2020, Denny's is offering Christmas diiner for four, delivered, for only $59.99

Click on the graphic above to order your Denny’s turkey dinner for 4.

Holiday hours may apply so you’ll want to check your Denny’s location to confirm hours of operation. Orders can be taking over the phone. The offer is available from December 22nd through 28th, valid as take-out only. The dinner is served family style. Re-heat at home.

Denny’s a little too déclassé for you? Hey, there are alternatives out there.

Take out holiday Christmas dinner, in Vancouver

You’ll want to read Miss 604 for more information on Holiday Meal Kits.
Steffani Cameron, who recently completed a 4-year worldwide adventure that she chronicled at FullNomad.com, for Christmas 2020 has written a column suggesting …

Homer Street Café and Bar has a three course dinner for two for $85 ($42.50 pp). This classic turkey dinner starts with butternut squash velouté and ends with seasonal shortbread and molasses cookies. The turkey dinner is traditional with mashed spuds, stuffing, roasted sprouts, honey-glazed carrots, and country-style giblet gravy.

The other restaurants Ms. Cameron suggests are, well let’s say, somewhat more dear, like Take out dinners from Forage, that will set you back $375.
The good folks at The Daily Hive also have a number of suggestions.

Roast turkey breast made in an Instant Pot

As for VanRamblings, we’ll cook something simple, like a roast turkey breast in our Instant Pot, which we’ve done previously to good effect.
With dinner, we’ll serve an old family recipe for dressing (which we’ll place into a hot oven), candied parsnips and carrots, brussel sprouts, mashed turnips, mashed potatoes (both with gravy, which we’ll also stream over the turkey), a roasted yam, and lots of cranberry sauce. We’ll enjoy a fine wine with dinner, and for dessert treat ourselves to pumpkin pie, ice cream, and some chocolate treats from Purdy’s Chocolates, and shortbread cookies.

3. Watch a movie at home, or a Netflix / Amazon series.
In the evening, we’ll watch one soon-to-be-nominated / award-winning film — like Beanpole or Never Rarely Sometimes Always, and maybe catch an episode of The Crown, on Netflix, or one of the films in Steve McQueen’s Small Axe series, on Amazon Prime, like Lovers Rock or Mangrove.

Before bed, we’ll prepare an artisan loaf of bread, for baking the next morning. Why? So, on Boxing Day, we can make the best turkey sandwich in the world, with thick slices of fresh-baked bread, stuffed with turkey, dressing, lettuce, cranberry sauce, and the veggies of our choice. Yum!

VanRamblings’ remaining suggestions to make this a Merry Christmas …

Christmas cocoa before the fire

4. Test out a new hot chocolate recipe.

5. Go for a walk in the neighbourhood, during the day & in the evening. When you’re out for your walk, make use of the empty streets and take photographs of the day; in the evening photograph holiday light displays.

6. Enjoy a bath in the evening, with candles lit, and quiet music playing in the background, of all of your favourite songs on Spotify, or on iTunes.

7. Connect with others virtually. If you’re spending the season alone, try connecting with loved ones, or friends, virtually. It might not be the same as face-to-face interaction, but it can certainly help to ease the pangs of loneliness. There are lots of ways to talk to folks online, including with others who may be spending Christmas alone.

Photograph taken by Laura Stannard, near Locarno Beach, along Spanish Banks, in VancouverPhotograph taken just off Locarno Beach, the “middle beach” along Spanish Banks, in Vancouver. Photo credit: Laura Stannard.

8. Go for a drive. The other day, VanRamblings friend, Laura Stannard, went for a drive, stopping near Locarno Beach, along Spanish Banks. Is there anything more revitalizing than a calming drive alone along the beach, and on the near deserted roads of the city, all the while lost in your own thoughts, and when you get home, bliss. A perfect alone Christmas.

9. Treat yourself to a gift, or two or three you can buy online.

Marine blue Vessi sneakers, stylish and 100% waterproofVanRamblings’ new marine blue 100% waterproof Vessi sneakers. Made locally.

Don’t forget to do something nice for yourself. Get yourself that gift online that you’ve been hankering for. VanRamblings has been very bad this holiday season: we bought ourselves a new iPhone 12 Pro Max ($328, plus $20 a month), which takes great photographs; we bought a new iPad Mini, traded in our old iPad Mini, and sold some tech equipment, and pretty much came out ahead. And, we treated ourselves to our fourth pair of Vessi sneakers, made locally, the only 100% waterproof shoe in the world, comfy as all get out — with great arch and heel support, it’s like walking on air — and, you can order the waterproof sneakers online.

christmas-bulb-red.jpg

Yes, it’s true, it can feel strange waking up alone on Christmas Day with no pressing reason to get out of bed, the hours about to stretch out in front of you. Where are the usual text messages and telephone call interruptions?

A woman alone, reflecting, on Christmas Day.

Loneliness is never too far away and this is especially true when, in the lead-up to Christmas Day, we’ve been bombarded with images of families packed around dining tables and scenes of children opening presents around a tree. But being alone at Christmas doesn’t necessarily have to be a lonely experience. Here’s a motto for a solo Christmas Day: being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Honest, it’s true. Think about it.

When you’re on your own, you can celebrate Christmas however you decide, without having to cater to the traditions or routines of other people. (And you don’t have to feel guilty about buying yourself presents, either).

As much as we’d all love to spend time with friends and family, sometimes it just isn’t possible, and with coronavirus restrictions in place many of us will be unable to see our loved ones over the festive period.

Having total control over what you do during the Christmas season can mean a stress-free time for each of us. The holiday season should be a time of year for you to enjoy, a time for reflection and fond remembrance, as you traipse through your days leisurely, and at a pleasurable pace.

Warm wishes for you at Christmas

In the midst of our current, unusual pandemic holiday season, it’s easy to get caught up in thinking about all the things you ‘should’ be doing. Take the pressure off — you’re already doing really well. Pace yourself, and do things that bring you joy. Above all, be kind — most of all to yourself.

Stories of a Life | Raymond & Cathy Marry 50 Years Ago Today

Raymond Tomlin and Cathy McLean on the days leading up to their marriage, December 19th, 1970

Cathy Janie McLean and Raymond Neil Tomlin were married at Pilgrim United Church in North Edmonton, the church Cathy had attended with her family since moving to Edmonton to begin high school, on a near frozen Edmonton Saturday, December 19th, 1970 afternoon, at 1:30 p.m.
Outside the sun shone, the weather a nippy but not unseasonable -35°. There were several in attendance who expressed their dismay that the sun was streaming into the church during the ceremony, something which I never quite understood. For me, it was like being blessed by God.
The marriage occurred almost a year-to-the-day since I had first met a bedraggled dirty-blonde, long-haired Cathy, very much a hippie, huddling with her friend and University of Alberta roommate, Joy, who were at the Royal Towers Hotel in New Westminster, as we waited for the Greyhound bus to transport us into Vancouver. Long story short, Cathy and I, and Joy and my friend Charles, hung out over the next few days, prior to Cathy and Joy returning to Edmonton. In the spring of 1970, I hitchhiked out to Edmonton, without any prior notice to Cathy of my intention to do so, and stayed with Cathy for a week, when we made love for the first time.
Cathy travelled out to Vancouver with her mother that summer in 1970, and rather than return home with her mother, Cathy remained in Vancouver. By mid-August the two of us were living together. Four months later, on Saturday, December 19th, 1970 the two of us were married.


Bren Traff, CKLG, 1967

The best man at my wedding was Bren Traff. Here’s a very brief, 6-second clip of Bren recorded in 1967, as he was starting off his CKLG 20-20 newscast. Later Bren would take over weekend CKLG-AM mornings, and later still, with almost every other deejay in town, move to a renewed CFUN — which had dropped its money-losing CKVN, Vancouver’s Voice of News format, returning to a tried-and-true rock ‘n roll format in the 1970s. Bren had been my best friend from 1966, right through until February 1972, which is a story to be told on VanRamblings another day.

In addition, another friend of mine, Hal Weaver — who, at the time, was the morning rock jock at CKVN — asked if he could be a co-best man at the wedding; I asked Cathy if that was alright with her, and she said it was fine. At some point, I’ll write about the last show, on CJOR from midnight to 6 a.m. Hal performed, a show he called Sunday Morning Coming Down, flat out the best radio programme in all of Vancouver radio history.
Hal Weaver is considered by many to have been one of the best, straight ahead Canadian-born rock jocks — a title he shares with others, including Daryl B. and Terry David Mulligan. Hal had a dynamic personality and voice to match. In 1968, J. Robert Wood hired him at CHUM Toronto, where he stayed for two years before moving to Vancouver’s CKVN in 1970. Hal died of throat cancer at the age of 28 in December, 1971, in Surrey, B.C. At the time Hal asked to be a co-best man, he’d already been diagnosed.

Cathy mother’s Myrtle insisted that Cathy stay at her home, just down the street from the church, in the days leading up to the wedding, while Hal, Bren and I stayed at a nearby hotel. The only time Cathy and I saw one another in the week leading up to our wedding, was when we met with the church pastor to talk about our vows, and our commitment to one another. Most of those meetings with the pastor had Cathy and I arguing with one another — if I recall correctly, the arguments were a consequence of an utter lack of maturity (not to mention, quite a bit of insecurity) on my part.
Cathy also insisted on changing the vows to read, “As long as we both shall love“, from “As long as we both shall live,” a change the pastor opposed, but Cathy dug in her heals on the issue, and of course got her way. That particular changing of the vows should have been the first hint I recognized that this was a marriage not to last for the long term — but I was so head over heels in love with Cathy that the thought never occurred to me.
[A digression. I would like to present photos of our wedding at this juncture in today’s story, but I have no photographs of the wedding in my possession — when we divided up our belongings in the early 1980s, Cathy took possession of the wedding photos, more to please her mother than for any other reason … my children tell me she still has the wedding album]
Nonetheless, Cathy and I were married, spending our wedding night at a fancy downtown Edmonton hotel, a gift from her mother (along with a brand new car she’d bought the two of us — recently, I’ve written about my daughter being a little too bourgeoise for my tastes; that well-practiced bougie aspect of how Megan presents herself to the world, and lives her life, comes directly from her mother & grandmother, the latter a Southam).
As you can see in the photo atop today’s column, I was pretty much smitten with Cathy (I think the only other person I know who looks at his wife as I do in the photo above is Seth Klein, when he looks at his wife, Christine Boyle). Once at the hotel, Cathy and I did what we usually did — we got stoned, which was a major feature of our life together during my university years in the early 1970s, along with a very active sex life.
Together, the two of us watched a Peter Sellers movie (although he had only a small part), The Wrong Box, on TV, snuggling with one another on the bed. About half an hour into watching the show, and nicely buzzed, Cathy retreated to the washroom, emerging in a blue, diaphanous and very short silk negligee — which, as you might imagine, did not remain a part of her dress for very long. We woke up the next morning very tired, indeed.
The marriage was a tempestuous one, not troubled exactly, but demanding at times, and overall for the first seven years, a great deal of fun, filled with love, betrayal, travel, an immense amount of sex (five times a day, every day for a decade, sometimes more), and on my part, a great deal of learning on how to be a productive and influential person in this world, as for all the years we were married, Cathy dressed me (“This is what you’re wearing today.”), edited my essays and other writing, and transformed me from an east side slum dwelling kid devoid of social skills into a presentable, and sometimes erudite young man. No Cathy, no Raymond Tomlin, at least not the Raymond Tomlin you have all come to know.

Stories of a Life | When Megan Was 7 Years of Age | Marriage

Megan Jessica Tomlin at age 7 in 1984, black and white photo
Unless I’m mistaken, and I don’t think I am, the photo of Megan above was taken by her mother, when Cathy was taking a photography class she very much enjoyed. As you can see in the photo, Megan is a distinct personality. Look at those wondrous eyes of hers.

When out for a walk in our Kitsilano neighbourhood when Megan was 7 years of age, as we were walking down the street heading towards Jericho Beach, Megan stopped and turned to me, and said in a matter-of-fact and portentous manner, “Dad, when I grow up, I’m going to get married.”

“Good for you,” I said to Megan in response.

As we were nearing McBride Park on that sunny summer 1984 Saturday afternoon, Megan pulled me over to sit on the grass opposite the tennis courts to begin a discourse on her thoughts on marriage …

“I could marry a poor boy, and I would love him, and he would love me, and we would have children together, and be as happy as happy could be every moment of our lives together, for many, many years of wedded bliss, happily raising our children together, all of us loving one another.”

“On the other hand, I could marry a rich boy, someone with whom I could love with all my heart, and we would have children, and love our children as much as it possible for a parent to love their children — which, if you and mom are any indication as to how much love there is to be given to their children, is a huge love, one of immense and sustaining proportion.”

“Now, if I was to marry the rich boy, and we were to have children together, as we most assuredly would, each of the children would have their own bedroom, and my husband and I would have ours. My children would not want for anything, ever, we could travel, and every day of our lives together would be filled with joy untold, our love for one another carrying us through all of our days, in a life of immense satisfaction and happiness, in comfort and without concern to distract from our lives.”

“Y’know, Dad, if I have a choice, I am going to marry the rich boy.”

Megan’s extemporaneous but thoughtful treatise on marriage was surprising for a number of reasons, the most prominent being that her mother and I were in the midst of an overtly contentious and very ugly divorce and custody battle that had gone on for some years — which both Jude and Megan found themselves precipitously and distressingly in the middle of — so I found it to be a bit more than surprising she would ever want to marry, given what she was experiencing with her own parents, that she had quite obviously given the matter some thought, and how pragmatic she was about whom she might choose to marry, and the — forgive me for saying so, but somewhat mercenary — criteria she had set for her future intended, and the tenor of the married life she felt assured would follow.

Make no mistake, Megan was raised as a feminist and a socialist — at least by me, her mother’s “politics” post marriage reverting to the conservative politics of her parents, and the peers of her distinctly privileged youth.

Over time, Megan and I returned to the topic of her future marriage — still many, many years away — as I took pains to impress upon Megan the necessity of agency, that she should always be true to herself and to her values of compassion and contribution, that love must be a part of her life always, but not if it were to come at the expense of her independence and place in society as a difference maker striving to make ours a better and more just world for all. From time to time, Cathy would catch wind of my philosophizing and say to me, “Stop lecturing the kids. They don’t like it!”

There is so much more that I would wish to write on the subject I’ve begun to explore above, but perhaps I’ll save that for another day.

And Megan?

Yes, Megan married the “rich boy”, the two very happy together, their children perhaps not quite so much (children, as we all know can be, and often are, rebellious, as Megan was with her mother most of the time she was growing up, and as she often was with me — honestly, it’s to be expected), although her children (and her lovely and successful husband, Maz) love her to distraction, Megan in “middle age” quite the sophisticated (if too bourgeoise for my tastes, if I might be so bold as to say so) woman of 43 years of age, her life not having taken the path of her best friend growing up, Kasari Govender (she/her/hers, who took office as B.C.’s first independent Human Rights Commissioner on September 3, 2019), but for Megan, her life still one of meaning and substance, if not quite the degree of societal contribution for which she possesses an unparalleled aptitude.