Category Archives: fixin to die rag

VanRamblings Weighs In On Raymond’s Health. Pt. 2

Part One of my 2025 health update may be found here.

At my December 5th, 2024 appointment with Dr. Brad Fritz, my family physician for the past 42 years, while addressing the issue of my prostate cancer diagnosis and the necessity for an immediate MRI following an alarming late November PSA — prostate-specific antigen — blood test, arrangements were made for a follow up bone scan to determine if the cancer had spread (as it has for former president Joe Biden), with a prostate biopsy to follow.

In addition to the prostate cancer, I told Dr. Fritz that throughout the autumn I had been passing out / falling a great deal, in the shower, when walking across my living room, and when leaving my apartment. The issue was that I was passing out for just a second before “coming to”, before getting my bearings.

Dr. Fritz told me that he thought that my passing out was related to my heart, and immediately made an appointment at UBC Hospital for me for an EKG (electrocardiogram), a test to check my heart for the aberrant electrical activity, such as an irregular heartbeat (arrhythmias), atrial fibrillation, heart attack, heart failure, blocked or narrowed heart arteries, and enlarged heart. The EKG was also to check for damage to my heart muscle, and assess the effectiveness of heart medications or devices like pacemakers, and investigate symptoms like chest pain, dizziness, or shortness of breath. An appointment for an EKG at UBC Hospital was set for Christmas Eve, at 4:30pm.

On December 24th, I entered the lobby of a near deserted UBC Hospital, taking the eleevator to the second floor, where I waited outside the office that had an EKG sign to the right of the door. I waited 15 minutes before the technician came out and invited me into the his clinic offer for the EKG, having me take of all of my top clothing, before have my lie down on a bed. Moving the EKG machine into place, electrodes attached, a thorough 20-minute electrocardiogram commenced. To say that the technician was alarmed at the result would be to understate the matter, as he asked me a series of questions, “Are you alright? Will you be able to stand? Do you think we should admit you to the hospital.” I assured him that I was fine, and would make my way home, after which I walked to the bus “loop” at UBC, and took the #9 Broadway bus home, settling in on my sofa to watch the news.

No sooner had I settled in than Dr. Fritz called me, sounding frantic (Brad is one of the most calm and centered persons I have ever met, so his “behaviour” I found to be unusual and out of character). Long story short, Dr. Fritz told me I was a candidate for a heart attack or stroke, that one of my arteries was clogged, that he’d left a message for my pharmacy to provide me with two medications he’d prescribed. Brad Fritz told me that if felt at all ill, I should call 911 and have an ambulance pick me up, and he’d meet me at Vancouver General Hospital. I told Brad I felt fine.

Turns out that in addition to the atrial fibrillation, I have a blockage in one of my arteries. Dr. Fritz told me that surgery is not an option, because if the blockage becomes unstuck, it could very well travel to my brain, and it’d be lights out for me. I tell ya, that kind of news sure makes for a happy Christmas season.

My pharmacy did not open until December 28th, the date I picked up my two prescribed medications. I already had a pulse oximeter, but purchased a Kardiamobile which records and analyzes a single-lead, medical-grade electrocardiogram (EKG) in 30 seconds employing my smartphone, allowing me to detect my heart arrhythmia (atrial fibrillation, AFib), as well as bradycardia (slow heart rate) and tachycardia (fast heart rate), all in the comfort of my home.

The Kardiamobile confirmed that I had atrial fibrillation (my heart rate would spike to 140 beats a minute), as well as (months later) bradycardia, which first came to my attention when my pulse oximeter indicated I had a pulse rate of 36 beats a minute, confirmed by my Kardiamobile.

I will note here that I felt fine then, and I feel fine now, despite my prostate cancer and two heart conditions. As I wrote yesterday, I feel fatigued throughout the day, am sleeping a great deal more than I usually do, and have some trouble performing basic households tasks, like making breakfast or dinner, making my bed, doing the wash, or vacuuming and washing my floors.

Throughout late January and February all proceeded as it should. My prostate cancer was under control, I was under the care of not only Dr. Fritz and Dr. Miles Mannas, my uro-oncologist, but a fine fellow by the name of Jonathan Ma, who is the Vancouver co-ordinator for the Guns Study — or genomic biomarker-selected umbrella neoadjuvant study for high risk localized prostate cancer trial — as well as the fine women in the prostate cancer supportive care centre.

Then all hell broke loose in early March, with hospitalization, five weeks of immense pain, a painful catheter throughout this entire period, surgery (not the kind that would knock me out), a flight to Cancún for dental surgery (again, I was not knocked out, I just fell asleep during the procedure), a loss of balance (thank you neuropathy), Type 2 diabetes, a tremendous weight loss, a new computer so I can post to VanRamblings (my old computer died) again, hives, and …

Come back tomorrow for the thrilling, heart wrenching, hopeful conclusion of Raymond’s 2025 Health Update. See you back here then.

VanRamblings Weighs In On Raymond’s Health. Pt. 1

One year ago today I was diagnosed with prostate cancer by my family physician of 42 years, the phenomenally skilled Dr. Brad (“call me Brad”) Fritz, who in 2016 also diagnosed me with my first rare form of terminal cancer, hilar cholangiocarcinoma, more commonly known as Klatskin’s tumour, a type of bile duct cancer.

My latest cancer diagnosis arose from a concerning PSA — prostate-specific antigen — blood test, an early detection of prostate cancer, that would require an MRI, followed by a biopsy of my prostate, to confirm Dr. Fritz’s diagnosis. 

At the time, I was told that there would be a 3 month wait for an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) test. By month’s end, I was told that the wait for an MRI was one year, and offered the opportunity to have a $2500 MRI at a privately operated clinic, not covered nor funded by the province’s public medicare system.

My annual income is $25,000. I would require more than one MRI. Paying privately for an MRI was simply out of the question.

I thought to myself, as a long time supporter of the NDP, “If David Eby or Adrian Dix were diagnosed with prostate cancer, would they have to wait a year for an MRI?” Not likely,  I thought. Neither did I believe that either of these two gentlemen would avail themselves of a private MRI, given the optics of the situation.

As such, my coverage of last autumn’s provincial election took on a distinctively — and utterly out of character — harsh tone on VanRamblings.

Note should be made that prostate cancer is the most common form of cancer for men, with a five year survival rate of 90% for most forms of prostate cancer, and 37-50% for Stage 4 cancer. I kept thinking to myself, “What if I have Stage 4 cancer —which proved to be the case — if I have to wait a year for an MRI, and longer than that for a prostate biopsy, what are the chances I would even be around for an MRI appointment a year from the date of my original diagnosis?”

I spoke with the constituency staff in David Eby’s officehe’s my MLA, I’ve worked on all of his campaignswho shrugged when I told them of my dilemma, telling me there was nothing they could do for me, I’d just have to wait.

I will note that the response of David’s constituency staff on this occasion was completely out of character for any of his past, or present, constituency staff, a one time aberration for an overworked constituency staff, too often subject to concerning — often fear inducingprotests outside of his constituency office.

My friend Kelly Ryana one-time host of CBC’s As It Happenswas none-too-pleased with the response of David Eby’s constituency staff. Neither was she overly pleased with the level of Dr. Fritz’s advocacywho I believe and know to be the best, most caring, most skilled and most competent doctor in the city, who has always been an advocate of the first order for me, dating back to 1983.

As the weeks went by, Kelly (“Men! They just don’t know how to take care of themselves. They require a strong woman to advocate for them”) insisted I make a follow up appointment with Dr. Fritz, which occurred on December 5th, an appointment to which she accompanied me, none-too-happy about the circumstance, nor Dr. Fritz. I had a PSA test conducted at the LifeLabs clinic across the street from Dr. Fritz’s office, the week before my December 5th appointment.

Sitting in Dr. Fritz’s office, he expressed alarm. The results of my PSA test was off the charts, requiring immediate emergency action on his part. Right then and there, he contacted VGH and attempted to make an emergency MRI appointment for me. Fortunately, there was a cancellation in the prostate clinic biopsy clinic at VGH the next morning at 3:35am, which I was more than happy to attend.

The three MRI technicians who performed the MRI were outstanding. Dr. Fritz received the results of the MRI later that week, and made an early January appointment with uro-oncologist Dr. Miles Mannas (“Raymond, he’s the best. That’s why I’m referring you to him. If, as I believe will prove to be the case, you require surgery to remove your prostate, he’s the most skilled surgeon, and will provide you with the very best care. You’ll be in good hands with Dr. Mannas”).

Dr. Fritz made an appointment for me with Dr. Mannas for early January of this year. Dr. Mannas, in turn, made an appointment for me for a bone scan at VGH, to determine if the prostate cancer had spread. Even before my appointment with him, and the biopsy he would conduct, Dr. Mannas believed that I had prostate cancer. The only question was, how severe was the prostate cancer?

The good news. The bone scan indicated the prostate cancer had not spread into my bones, unlike poor Joe Biden (who, given the results of his bone scan, indicating spread, has 5 – 7 years to live). The not-so-good news: my Gleason score was 9, as bad a score as is possible (no one has a Gleason score of 10). The prostate cancer was so severe that neither radiation nor chemotherapy would be offered. The only route: surgery, preceded by months of hormone therapy. Surgery to remove my prostate is schedule for mid-November.

One of my concerns about the surgery — my second surgery ever, my first surgery the removal of my tonsils at age 4 — was the loss of my sexuality, long an important part of my life. That concern was soon put to rest. With the 4 apalutimide tablets I take each morning, along with 4 Zytiga tablets — each of the tablets is huge, and hard to swallow — as well as the prednisone tablet Dr. Mannas has prescribed that I take each morning, all of the testosterone in my body has been knocked  out, my sexuality gone, obliterated.  And you know what: it’s no big deal, I had nothing to fear or be concerned about. In fact, it’s kind of a relief. I have been very, very lucky in my love life to have been loved by strong, beautiful women of accomplishment and great intelligence, and consider myself to have been very, very fortunate in my romantic and sexual life.

The other salutary result of the medication I’m on: my latest PSA test indicated a negligible result, perfect for my upcoming prostate surgery.

The down side to all the medication I’m on (more on that tomorrow) is that I am constantly fatigued, have a difficult time getting out of bed in the morning, and conducting the affairs of my life. To some great extent, I have become incompetent in the conduct of my life, when for many years I considered myself to be “a man’s man,” able to take on any chore, with a ready approach to any challenge.

No more.

Fortunately, in addition to acting as the best possible advocate for me lo these many months, my friend (and saviour) Kelly Ryan has afforded me the opportunity to “co-parent” Teague the dog, only the friendliest, most loving waggly tail dog in the whole world, a loyal companion who I take for several walks a day most days, when I might otherwise remain prone on my bed fatigued and lifeless all day long, my iPad by my side, who resides with me on occasion — as he did for most of July and early August, and for much of this past week.

Writing on VanRamblings, keeping up with daily posting has become all but impossible. The only things that keeps me active on VanRamblings are the prospect of Kareem Allam becoming Vancouver’s next Mayor — a man I believe to be brilliant, skilled, humane and well-schooled, the most sophisticated political operative I have met in the 60+ years I have covered politics, a charismatic political figure — who believes in and practices the politics of joy — who fills me with hope for our world, who I believe will emerge as a transformational Mayor for our city next year, as well as our nation and perhaps beyond in the years to come, our best Mayor since Philip Owen, or going back to the 70s, Art Phillips.

And for the next six weeks, writing about the Vancouver International Film Festival, long our window on the world, and most cherished arts festival.

In the past, whether covering municipal, provincial or federal politics, or my most beloved VIFF, it was not unusual for me to dedicate 20 hours a day attending political events or festival screenings, arriving home to write about each until 5am, creating videos, or transcribing interviews. No more.

I am all but bereft of energy.

I have 8 weeks remaining on my daily regimen of apalutimade, Zytiga and prednisone — which Dr. Mannas tells me is at the seat of my daily fatigue / lack of energy  — in the lead up to my mid-November prostate surgery. Post surgery, it will probably be another 6 to 8 months before any semblance of energy returns.

How do I feel? I feel lucky. I feel fortunate to have a roof over my head within a housing co-op I have called home for 41 years this year. I feel fortunate to be surrounded by my Co-op neighbours, the finest people it has ever been my good fortune to work and enjoy life with, who couldn’t be more supportive and caring. I feel gratitude to VanRamblings’ many readers who hang in with me despite all.

Now, Dan Fumano — PostMedia’s first rate civic affairs reporter — will be disappointed with me (as will Charlie Smith, the once upon a time superb editor of The Georgia Straight) for writing at too great a length today. “Raymond, keep your columns at 750 words. Any longer than that and you’ll lose readers.” I proffer an apology to Dan, to Charlie and to you.

Sadly, my prostate cancer is the least of my health woes. More tomorrow.

Stories of a Life | Redux | Cathy and Raymond’s 1970s European Adventure

Traveling on a train across Europe, with a Eurail Pass, in the 1970s

In the summer of 1974, Cathy and I traveled to Europe for a three-month European summer vacation, BritRail and Eurail passes in hand, this was going to be a summer vacation to keep in our memory for always.

And so it proved to be …

On another day, in another post evoking memories of our cross-continental European sabbatical, I’ll relate more stories of what occurred that summer.

Train travel in Spain, in the 1970s, as the train makes its way around the bend

Only 10 days prior to the event I am about to relate, Cathy and I had arrived in Lisbon, Portugal, alighting from a cruise liner we’d boarded in Southampton, England (passage was only 5£s, much cheaper than now).

After a couple of wonderful days in Lisbon, Cathy and I embarked on the first part of our hitchhiking sojourn throughout every portion of Portugal we could get to, finally traveling along the Algarve before arriving in the south of the country, ready to board a train to Spain.

Unfortunately, I developed some intestinal disorder or other, requiring rest and fluids.

Once Cathy could see that I was going to be fine, she left the confines of our little pensão to allow me to recover in peace, returning with stories of her having spent a wonderful day at the beach with an enthusiastic retinue of young Portuguese men, who had paid attention to and flirted with her throughout the day.

Cathy was in paradisiacal heaven; me, not so much.

Still, I was feeling better, almost recovered from my intestinal malady, and the two of us made a decision to be on our way the next morning.

Traveling from the south of Portugal to Spain, in the 1970s

To say that I was in a bad mood when I got onto the train is to understate the matter. On the way to the station, who should we run into but the very group of amorous young men Cathy had spent the previous day with, all of whom were beside themselves that this braless blonde goddess of a woman was leaving their country, as they beseeched her to “Stay, please stay.”

Alas, no luck for them; this was my wife, and we were going to be on our way.

Still suffering from the vestiges of both an irritable case of jealousy and a now worsening intestinal disorder, I was in a foul mood once we got onto the train, and as we pulled away from the station, my very loud and ill-tempered mood related in English, those sitting around us thinking that I must be some homem louco, and not wishing in any manner to engage.

A few minutes into my decorous rant, a young woman walked up to me, and asked in the boldest terms possible …

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

“Huh,” I enquired?

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? That’s the filthiest mouth I’ve ever heard. You’ve got to teach me how to swear!”

At which point, she sat down across from me, her lithe African American dancer companion moving past me to sit next to her. “Susan. My name is Susan. This is my friend, Danelle,” she said, pointing in the direction of Danelle. “We’re from New York. We go to school there. Columbia. I’m in English Lit. Danelle’s taking dance — not hard to tell, huh? You two traveling through Europe, are you?” Susan all but shouted. “I come from a large Jewish family. You? We’re traveling through Europe together.”

And thus began a beautiful friendship.

Turns out that Susan could swear much better than I could; she needed no instruction from me. Turns out, too, that she had my number, and for all the weeks we traveled together through Europe, Susan had not one kind word for me — she set about to make my life hell, and I loved every minute of it. Susan became the sister I wished I’d had, profane, self-confident, phenomenally bright and opinionated, her acute dissection of me done lovingly and with care, to this day one of the best and most loving relationships I’ve ever had.

Little known fact about me: I love being called out by bright, emotionally healthy, socially-skilled and whole women.

Two-year-old Jude Nathan Tomlin, baby Megan Jessica, and dad, Raymond, in June 1977
The summer of 1974, when Cathy became pregnant with Jude, on the right above.

Without the women in my life, Cathy or Megan, my daughter — when Cathy and I separated — Lori, Justine, Alison, Patricia, Julienne or Melissa, each of whom loved me, love me still, and made me a better person, the best parts of me directly attributable to these lovely women, to whom I am so grateful for caring enough about me to make me a better person.

Now onto the raison d’être of this instalment of Stories of a Life.

Once Susan and I had settled down — there was an immediate connection between Susan and I, which Cathy took as the beginnings of an affair the two of us would have (as if I would sleep with my sister — Danelle, on the other hand, well … perhaps a story for another day, but nothing really happened, other than the two of us becoming close, different from Susan).

J. D. Salinger's Nine Stories, an anthology of short stories published in April 1953

 

Danelle saw a ragged copy of J.D. Salinger’s Nine Stories peeking out of Cathy’s backpack.

“Okay,” she said. “In rounds, let’s each one of us give the title of one of the Salinger short stories,” which we proceeded to do. Cathy was just now reading Salinger, while I’d read the book while we were still in England, about three weeks earlier.

Cathy started first, For Esmé — with Love and Squalor. Danelle, Teddy. Susan, showing off, came up with A Perfect Day for Bananafish, telling us all, “That story was first published in the January 31, 1948 edition of The New Yorker.” Show off! I was up next, and came up with Uncle Wiggily in Connecticut. Phew — just barely came up with that one! Thank goodness.

Onto the second round: Cathy, Down at the Dinghy; Danelle, Pretty Mouth and Green My Eyes; Susan, showing off again, De Daumier-Smith’s Blue Period, “turned down by The New Yorker in late 1951, and published by the British Information World Review, early in 1952.” Me? Struggling yet again, but subject to a momentary epiphany, I blurted out, Just Before the War with the Eskimos. There we were, eight stories down and one to go.

But do you think any one of us could come up with the title to the 9th tale in Salinger’s 1953 anthology of short stories? Nope.

We thought about it, and thought about it — and nothing, nada, zero, zilch. We racked our brains, and we simply couldn’t come up with the title of the 9th short story.

We sat there, hushed. For the first time in about half an hour, there was silence between us, only the voices of children on the train, and the clickety-clack of the tracks as the train relentlessly headed towards Madrid.

We couldn’t look at one another. We were, as a group, downcast, looking up occasionally at the passing scenery, only furtively glancing at one another, only periodically and with reservation, as Cathy held onto my arm, putting hers in mine, Danelle looking up, she too wishing for human contact.

Finally, Susan looked up at me, looked directly at me, her eyes steely and hard yet … how do I say it? … full of love and confidence in me, that I somehow would be the one to rescue us from the irresolvable dilemma in which we found ourselves.

Beseechingly, Susan’s stare did not abate …

The Laughing Man,” I said, “The Laughing Man! The 9th story in Salinger’s anthology is …” and before I could say the words, I was smothered in kisses, Cathy to my left, Susan having placed herself in my lap, kissing my cheeks, my lips, my forehead, and when she found herself unable to catch her breath, Danelle carrying on where Susan had left off, more tender than Susan, loving and appreciative, Cathy now holding me tight, love all around us.

A moment that will live in me always, a gift of the landscape of my life.

Stories of a Life | Redux | Chief Cook & Bottle Washer

Jude and Megan Tomlin, aged 3 and 16 months, sitting at the kitchen table in 1978
1978. Jude, at age 3½, and Megan at near 2 years of age. At the kitchen table for breakfast.

A couple of weeks ago, when I was extolling the virtues of my Instant Pot to a friend, in a lull in the conversation, she turned to me and said, “You like to cook, don’t you?”

The short answer: I derive pleasure from both cooking and baking.

Here’s the story behind my love for the culinary powers of the kitchen.

1616 Semlin Drive, and East 1st Avenue, in Vancouver. One of the homes I lived in growing up.
1616 Semlin Drive, at E. 1st Ave. in Vancouver. One of the homes I lived in growing up.

From my earliest days, I fended for myself.

My mother worked three jobs, and my father worked the afternoon shift at the Post Office. When I arrived home from school, although my father often left a stew bubbling away in the slow cooker, from age seven on, for the most part if I wanted to eat, I’d have to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for myself, and for my sister.

So, being somewhat industrious, I learned to cook — well, make sandwiches and, for dessert, Jello, at least for the first few years.

I loved turkey growing up (all that triptiphan), so with the help of my mother, I learned to make her delicious turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes and vegetables. For the most part, though, my cooking skills were rudimentary — but I didn’t starve, and more often than not there was food in my belly.

When in 1970, Cathy and I moved in together, marrying soon after, I was responsible for most of the cooking. Cathy’s mom sent her out $1000 a month (she didn’t know we were living together), visiting every three months, taking us to the local Woodward’s grocery floor, where she dropped in excess of $300 at each visit.

With Cathy’s mother money, we ate a fairly staple diet of generously thick T-bone steaks and baked potatoes.

Simon Fraser University's Louis Riel House, a student family one-and-two-bedroom apartment
Simon Fraser University’s Louis Riel House, SFU’S student family 1 + 2 bedroom residence.

Soon after moving into the Louis Riel Student Residence at Simon Fraser University in 1971, Cathy joined a women’s group, who met every Wednesday evening. Among the decisions that were taken by the women’s group was this: men shall participate in all household chores, and share in all food preparation.

As we often ate together with other of the students in the residence, my specialty became salads — all different kinds of healthy, nutritious salads, chock full of vegetables, nuts, sunflower seeds, and more.

At this point, Cathy still hated to cook — there was immense pressure placed on Cathy by her peers to develop culinary skills, but she refused. All that changed in the summer of 1973, which is a story for another day.

2182 East 2nd Avenue, in the Grandview Woodland neighbourhood of Vancouver
2182 East 2nd Avenue, in the Grandview Woodland neighbourhood of Vancouver.

When Cathy and I separated in 1978 — Jude and I lived in the home above, before Jude, Megan and I moved to Simon Fraser University and Louis Riel House, when I began work on my Masters degree — the thought occurred to me one morning when making breakfast that I was now the lone parent, and the sole person responsible for ensuring the children ate nutritious foods at each meal in order that they might grow up into healthy adults.

I took on the task of learning the art of cooking (and baking), in earnest.

There was, however, a quid pro quo involved.

After returning from a day of larnin’ and T.A.’ing at SFU, after picking up the children at daycare at 4:30pm, and walking the relatively short distance to our two-bedroom apartment at Louis Riel House, while the children played with their friends on the lawn in front of our apartment, I prepared dinner, calling them in about 45 minutes after dinner preparation had begun.

The kids were famished, and so was I.

Here’s where the quid pro quo came in: at the end of each meal, each of the children had to turn and say to me some version of, “Daddy that was a good dinner. It was mmmm, delicious. Thank you for making dinner for all of us, and all the work you put in to feeding us healthy and nutritious breakfasts, lunches and dinners, and all those wonderful desserts we love!”

I needed the incentive provided to me by both children, and their gratitude — which, in time, they came to acknowledge as their own. The kids felt good about encouraging me, as I encouraged them in all of their endeavours.

We were a happy family, and all was well with the world for the three of us.

Now, I was an adventuresome cook, and not everything I made turned out to the liking of all of us, or each one of us.

Being a dedicated democrat, Jude, Megan and I made a deal with one another in respect of dinner. Both children had to eat at least two bites of each food item I prepared: after all the work I put into preparing a dish, the least they could do was try out the dish to see whether they might like it.

Most of the time they did, but sometimes not.

One night, I made cream of escargot soup. Honestly, it wasn’t bad. But at the end of the soup entrée, I turned to the children and asked them what they thought, to which they replied almost in unison, “It was all right, tasty enough I suppose, but I’m not sure if I’d ever want to have it again.”

I agreed with them. We never ate cream of escargot soup ever again.

Each of us were allowed to have three foods on a list of our creation, foods we did not have to eat, no matter what.

Megan had three foods, Jude had three foods, and I had three foods — those foods changed over a period of time.

In order to add a food to our individual “nah, I don’t want to eat that food” list, some food on each of our lists had to come off. Took some thought on the part of the children as to whether they wanted to remove a food.

Megan, for a great long while didn’t like avocados — but one day, while placing a new food she didn’t like onto her “don’t eat” list, she took avocados off her list, eventually coming to love avocados, as she does to this day.

Watching me prepare meals all the time he was growing up caused Jude to want to become a chef — he worked in the food industry throughout his late teens and twenties, before getting into teaching, which paid better, and was overall less stressful, with “more honourable people”, he’d say to me.

In her teens, Megan became a vegan — there’s a story there, too, which I’ll leave for another day — and, for the most part, took on the preparation of her own meals, as did Jude over a period of time.

After the summer of 1973, Cathy became a great cook — there’s not much I miss about that tumultuous marriage, but I sure miss Cathy’s avant-garde cooking, her culinary craftsmanship, spicing and phenomenally delicious cooking.

Ah well.