Stories of a Life | The Frosty, Tear-Filled Christmas of 1994

December 25, 2020Stories of a LifeRaymond Tomlin

Christmas 1994 is one of my favourite Christmases ever. Not because it was an especially happy one, but because it’s become a memorable one.
From the late 1980s through the mid-1990s, one of my employments was as a restaurant critic, publishing in various community newspapers and magazines across the Metro Vancouver region. In 1994, one of my editors suggested I write a column on the best shepherd’s pie in town, which allowed me to travel to the Expo Saskatchewan Pavilion restaurant in West Vancouver, as well as a number of other establishments across the Lower Mainland, including a restaurant in my Kitsilano neighbourhood, which served a warming and delicious shepherd’s pie dinner for only $4.95 — at the time, this was the best deal in town for shepherd’s pie.
This was a deli-style restaurant. Martha, the young woman behind the counter, was a UBC student, I was to learn, in her final year at the University of British Columbia who, as she took my order, and then delivered my shepherd’s pie dinner, proceeded to flirt with me like mad. Long story short, I asked her out, we began dating, and all seemed right with the world. This was the early autumn of 1994. I learned that she grew up in Nova Scotia, but had decided to attend UBC, as she had often travelled to British Columbia with her parents when she was growing up.
As Christmas approached, we made arrangements to spend Christmas Day together. I would make Christmas dinner, while she would supply the baking. On Christmas Eve, I picked her up from work and drove towards her home on East 18th Avenue and Ontario Street, just off Main Street.
As I was driving, I mentioned to her that my friends Michael Klassen and Stacey Fruin were having a Christmas Eve party at their home on Columbia Street near 18th, just a few short blocks from her home, and asked Martha if we might make an appearance at Michael and Stacey’s home to wish them a happy Christmas. “I’d rather not,” Martha said, although we did end up attending the party, if only briefly.
We stayed only 15 minutes at Michael and Stacey’s, Martha was social and seemed to enjoy herself, but remembering her “I’d rather not” and the agreement we made that we’d attend the party for only a few minutes, after 15 minutes we wished Michael and Stacey a merry Christmas, and we were off. As we were walking towards the car, Martha turned to me to say that she needed some fresh air, and would walk the three blocks to her home, stating, “I’d better get started on the baking when I get home, as well.” As we parted, I told her I’d call her at 8 a.m. Christmas Day.
We hugged and kissed good-bye, I made sure that she was safe walking down East 18th Avenue, and headed back home to my Kitsilano neighbourhood, snuggling up in bed with a good book, and a cup of herbal tea on the night stand to sip on. By midnight, I was fast asleep.

At 6 a.m. the phone rang; it was Martha, who told me the following …

“I’m in Hope. I’ve decided to spend Christmas Day with my university friend who lives in Penticton. My bus is about to leave. I’ve got to go.”

At this point, as I was rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I was now fitfully awake, and a little awestruck at this unexpected turn of events.
Several months in, the relationship with Martha was a romantic and loving one. Although she maintained her shared residence in Mount Pleasant, more often than not she slept at my place, just a couple of blocks down the street from where she worked, and relatively close to UBC.
At 6:30 a.m. my children called to wish me a merry Christmas, and told me how much they were looking forward to seeing me on Boxing Day.
At 7 a.m. I got up, showered and made myself some breakfast, taking a few more calls from friends wishing me a merry Christmas, after which I went for a walk throughout and across my Kitsilano neighbourhood.
This was a bitterly and bitingly cold Christmas Day, with a smattering of snow on the ground, but mostly a great deal of frost. The skies were azure blue and clear with nary a cloud to be found, the sun was out, the streets deserted. The headphones over my ears effectively acted as earmuffs, as I listened to some of my favourite music on my bulky Sony Walkman.

When I arrived back home, I began making preparations for dinner, and at 1 p.m. decided that I wanted to make my way down to Locarno Beach, along Spanish Banks, and then head out for a drive around the west side of my most beloved city. At the beach, the grass and then the sand was crunchy beneath my feet, my gloves serving to keep my hands warm, my scarf keeping my face safe from the biting cold off the waters of the Inlet.

Casa Mia, as seen from the road, along SW Marine Drive, in Vancouver

Back in the car, with the heater on, I warmed up, took my coat, scarf and gloves off, headed towards UBC, and then down southwest Marine Drive, adjacent to the Musqueam lands as I headed towards Granville Street.
Rickie Lee Jones’ EP The Girl at Her Volcano was the soundtrack for the drive. As I was passing by the multi-million dollar homes on the south side of Marine Drive, Rickie Lee’s song Rainbow Sleeves began to play on the speakers in the car, and I started to cry, the first time I’d cried — other than at the movies, in a darkened theatre — in 16 years, since Cathy and I had begun the first tentative steps toward our separation over Christmas 1977, continuing my lamentation during the entire time the song played.

Rainbow Sleeves, written by Tom Waits, as interpreted by Rickie Lee Jones

You used to dream yourself away each night
To places that you’ve never been
On wings made of wishes that you whispered to yourself
Back when every night the moon and you would sweep away
To places that you knew you would never get the blues
Now whiskey gives you wings to carry each one of your dreams
And the moon does not belong to you
But I believe that your heart keeps young dreams
Well, I’ve been told to keep from ever growing old
And a heart that has been broken will be stronger when it mends
Don’t let the blues stop your singing
Darling, you only got a broken wing
Hey, you just hang on to my rainbow
Hang on to my rainbow
Hang on to my rainbow sleeves

Martha spent the whole of the holiday season in the Okanagan visiting with her friend. Upon her return home, once again employed at the delicatessen I ran across her in early January, and asked if she wanted to accompany me to a review I was going to write on Floata Restaurant, in Chinatown. “Can I bring along a friend?” she asked. “Sure, that’d be fine,” I responded.

On the first Thursday of January, on the 5th, I picked her and her friend up, along with my friend, J.B. Shayne, and we attended at the Floata Restaurant on Keefer, and proceeded to enjoy a feast. When dinner was over, Martha asked me to drive her and her friend home, not commenting on the restaurant or the food, or in any way indicating to me that she’d enjoyed herself, most of her time in the restaurant spent engaged in conversation with the friend she’d brought along to our dinner together.

After dropping the two off at their homes, J.B. and I proceeded back to his home on Arbutus Street, stopping in at Siegel’s Bagels for a hamantaschen, one of our favourite late night treats. While sitting at the table, J.B. turned to me and made the following remarks and observations …

“Tonight, we went out to a great restaurant for dinner, and I want to say how grateful I am that you invited me along. Your girlfriend — if I could call her that, although the term hardly seems to apply, given what I observed this evening, and what you’ve told me occurred on Christmas Day — utterly ignored you throughout our dinner together, neither she nor her friend thanked you for the sumptuous feast to which you treated them, was engaged in conversation with her friend the entire time we were at the restaurant, and on the way back to her home, and when she got out of the car, neither she nor her friend bothered to thank you.

Martha seems not to care for you, her conduct verging on — from what I observed, as — unkind at best, and even more, cruel, given what I know about her. Now, I realize that she is a beautiful young woman, and from what I gather quite bright, but for heaven’s sake, apart from her youth and her beauty, for the life of me, I cannot understand what you see in her, and why you are wasting your time with someone so seemingly callous in her treatment of you. Raymond, you could do so much better.”

Later, when I returned to the deli, I learned two things: 1) Martha had quit her job, and 2) the review I’d written had driven a sizable number of new customers to restaurant, causing the owners to more than double its price for the shepherd’s pie, undoing whatever good had come their way by charging a lower amount for the dinner, that had once given good value.
I never saw Martha again.
And, from that Christmas Day in 1994, outside of an occasional teary session inside a darkened cinema during an especially moving scene, I’ve not cried since. My heart is stronger. I have remained open to love, and love with all my heart, but become more protective of my own heart, more aware of the actual, rather than imagined or romantic, tenor of my various relationships, not just with women, but with all those who are in my life.

Christmas | A Guide to Spending Christmas Alone | Comfort & Joy

December 23, 2020Diversions, Food & Health, Jude and Megan, Stories of a Life, Vancouver, VanRamblingsalone, christmas, denny's, turkey dinner, vessiRaymond Tomlin

Many of us spend our lives surrounded by people. On the 25th of December, we can embrace the quiet and enjoy Christmas undisturbed.

There can be so much pressure around Christmas and other holidays — pressure to celebrate, pressure to socialize, pressure to follow traditions, pressure to eat too much and drink yourself to excess. Ultimately, there is pressure to be happy. And that’s an awful lot of pressure to lay on anyone — especially as we know that Christmas isn’t an easy time for everyone.

The purpose of today’s VanRamblings column is to help you come to terms with what will be for all of us an unusually quiet, and near — if not actual, in many cases — solitary Christmas & holiday season, following Dr. Bonnie Henry’s plea that we hunker down alone during Christmas season 2020.

‘Tis the season for attending parties galore (yes, Zoom celebrations count, too!), decking your halls — and, of course, your Christmas tree — with festive decorations, checking out all the magical light displays, and binge-watching classic holiday movies. Not to mention spending Christmas Day (and Eve!) listening to holiday songs on repeat, partaking in time-honoured traditions, and doing it all — ideally — while wearing your pyjamas.

So it’s no surprise that the prospect of spending Christmas alone — whether for the first time or the twentieth time — can feel, well, not always so merry and bright.

But here’s the thing: You’re not alone. The reality is that plenty of people spend their holidays solo. Some people have demanding work schedules that make it difficult to travel, while others might not have the money for expensive round-trip tickets, and others simply want to spend Christmas alone. That’s true in a normal year — but perhaps even more so in 2020, when many of us will be celebrating Christmas without friends or family due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic and social distancing guidelines.

And while, yes, you’ll probably miss your mom’s legendary bread pudding, there are plenty of things you might be happy to skip, like faking your surprise (and excitement) when Aunt Sue gives you yet another gormless polyester tie, sitting through the same political debates, and having to get dressed up just to eat at your own dining room table, to name a few.

Whether by choice or circumstance, there is plenty to do on Christmas Day that you can enjoy doing alone, from catching up on the acclaimed and award-worthy Netflix or Amazon Prime TV shows you’ve heard so much about, to indulging in some much-needed self-care — like going for a walk in the neighbourhood, where you’re bound to run into friends — to starting a new tradition, whatever that may be that will provide you solace.

You don’t have to stand by and have a blue Christmas.

Which is exactly why VanRamblings has rounded up 9 simple ways to spend Christmas solo, all of which will bring joy to your world.

1. Let’s start with the obvious. Dive into a book.

Picking up a book (whether it’s a thriller, that book written by a friend of yours, or that political book you became aware of thanks to another friend), can help you escape into an entirely different reality, and one that you don’t usually have time to explore. Didn’t plan ahead? Download a reading app. iPhones and iPads have a built-in reading app, allowing you to buy books from Apple Books. Amazon, which started out as a company marketing books, has a huge library of downloadable books you can read on your Kindle App. Imagine, there you are snuggled up in bed, toasty warm, a warming beverage by your night stand and maybe a snack, as well, ready to read that book you’ve been meaning to get to. Joy indescribable!

2. Cook a feast, or have one delivered.

A friend was asking the other day, “Where could I order a great turkey dinner, and have it delivered?” The answer, in Vancouver, to that question offers you near limitless opportunities.

In 2020, all of the Denny’s Restaurant locations are offering a traditional turkey dinner for four, for only $59.99. Tender carved turkey breast, savoury stuffing, garlic red-skinned mashed potatoes, turkey gravy, cranberry sauce and your choice of broccoli or sweet petite corn. In this case, they’d like you to pick up the dinner, allowing you to reheat the dinners when you arrive home. You could have Uber or a taxi deliver it.

In 2020, Denny's is offering Christmas diiner for four, delivered, for only $59.99

Click on the graphic above to order your Denny’s turkey dinner for 4.

Holiday hours may apply so you’ll want to check your Denny’s location to confirm hours of operation. Orders can be taking over the phone. The offer is available from December 22nd through 28th, valid as take-out only. The dinner is served family style. Re-heat at home.

Denny’s a little too déclassé for you? Hey, there are alternatives out there.

You’ll want to read Miss 604 for more information on Holiday Meal Kits.
Steffani Cameron, who recently completed a 4-year worldwide adventure that she chronicled at FullNomad.com, for Christmas 2020 has written a column suggesting …

Homer Street Café and Bar has a three course dinner for two for $85 ($42.50 pp). This classic turkey dinner starts with butternut squash velouté and ends with seasonal shortbread and molasses cookies. The turkey dinner is traditional with mashed spuds, stuffing, roasted sprouts, honey-glazed carrots, and country-style giblet gravy.

The other restaurants Ms. Cameron suggests are, well let’s say, somewhat more dear, like Take out dinners from Forage, that will set you back $375.
The good folks at The Daily Hive also have a number of suggestions.

As for VanRamblings, we’ll cook something simple, like a roast turkey breast in our Instant Pot, which we’ve done previously to good effect.
With dinner, we’ll serve an old family recipe for dressing (which we’ll place into a hot oven), candied parsnips and carrots, brussel sprouts, mashed turnips, mashed potatoes (both with gravy, which we’ll also stream over the turkey), a roasted yam, and lots of cranberry sauce. We’ll enjoy a fine wine with dinner, and for dessert treat ourselves to pumpkin pie, ice cream, and some chocolate treats from Purdy’s Chocolates, and shortbread cookies.

3. Watch a movie at home, or a Netflix / Amazon series.
In the evening, we’ll watch one soon-to-be-nominated / award-winning film — like Beanpole or Never Rarely Sometimes Always, and maybe catch an episode of The Crown, on Netflix, or one of the films in Steve McQueen’s Small Axe series, on Amazon Prime, like Lovers Rock or Mangrove.

Before bed, we’ll prepare an artisan loaf of bread, for baking the next morning. Why? So, on Boxing Day, we can make the best turkey sandwich in the world, with thick slices of fresh-baked bread, stuffed with turkey, dressing, lettuce, cranberry sauce, and the veggies of our choice. Yum!

VanRamblings’ remaining suggestions to make this a Merry Christmas …

4. Test out a new hot chocolate recipe.

5. Go for a walk in the neighbourhood, during the day & in the evening. When you’re out for your walk, make use of the empty streets and take photographs of the day; in the evening photograph holiday light displays.

6. Enjoy a bath in the evening, with candles lit, and quiet music playing in the background, of all of your favourite songs on Spotify, or on iTunes.

7. Connect with others virtually. If you’re spending the season alone, try connecting with loved ones, or friends, virtually. It might not be the same as face-to-face interaction, but it can certainly help to ease the pangs of loneliness. There are lots of ways to talk to folks online, including with others who may be spending Christmas alone.

Photograph taken just off Locarno Beach, the “middle beach” along Spanish Banks, in Vancouver. Photo credit: Laura Stannard.

8. Go for a drive. The other day, VanRamblings friend, Laura Stannard, went for a drive, stopping near Locarno Beach, along Spanish Banks. Is there anything more revitalizing than a calming drive alone along the beach, and on the near deserted roads of the city, all the while lost in your own thoughts, and when you get home, bliss. A perfect alone Christmas.

9. Treat yourself to a gift, or two or three you can buy online.

VanRamblings’ new marine blue 100% waterproof Vessi sneakers. Made locally.

Don’t forget to do something nice for yourself. Get yourself that gift online that you’ve been hankering for. VanRamblings has been very bad this holiday season: we bought ourselves a new iPhone 12 Pro Max ($328, plus $20 a month), which takes great photographs; we bought a new iPad Mini, traded in our old iPad Mini, and sold some tech equipment, and pretty much came out ahead. And, we treated ourselves to our fourth pair of Vessi sneakers, made locally, the only 100% waterproof shoe in the world, comfy as all get out — with great arch and heel support, it’s like walking on air — and, you can order the waterproof sneakers online.

Yes, it’s true, it can feel strange waking up alone on Christmas Day with no pressing reason to get out of bed, the hours about to stretch out in front of you. Where are the usual text messages and telephone call interruptions?

Loneliness is never too far away and this is especially true when, in the lead-up to Christmas Day, we’ve been bombarded with images of families packed around dining tables and scenes of children opening presents around a tree. But being alone at Christmas doesn’t necessarily have to be a lonely experience. Here’s a motto for a solo Christmas Day: being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Honest, it’s true. Think about it.

When you’re on your own, you can celebrate Christmas however you decide, without having to cater to the traditions or routines of other people. (And you don’t have to feel guilty about buying yourself presents, either).

As much as we’d all love to spend time with friends and family, sometimes it just isn’t possible, and with coronavirus restrictions in place many of us will be unable to see our loved ones over the festive period.

Having total control over what you do during the Christmas season can mean a stress-free time for each of us. The holiday season should be a time of year for you to enjoy, a time for reflection and fond remembrance, as you traipse through your days leisurely, and at a pleasurable pace.

In the midst of our current, unusual pandemic holiday season, it’s easy to get caught up in thinking about all the things you ‘should’ be doing. Take the pressure off — you’re already doing really well. Pace yourself, and do things that bring you joy. Above all, be kind — most of all to yourself.

VanRamblings’ Annual Metro Vancouver Holiday Lights Tour

December 21, 2020Diversions, News, VancouverRaymond Tomlin

VanRamblings’ updated 2020 Holiday Lights Tour covers the entirety of the Metro Vancouver region, starting in Vancouver & the North Shore, but now including Burnaby, the Tri-Cities / Coquitlam, Surrey / North Delta, and Richmond. No one says that the Holiday Season Lights Tour must be a single-night event — if you wanted to, you could do a two, three or four night holiday lights tour, at a pace comfortable for you and your family.

You could also do a walking tour. The area around Gravely & Commercial Drive and out to 12th and Semlin would make for a good walking tour of holiday lights. According to Environment Canada, the weather on the three days before Christmas Day will be nippy, but clear, and perfect for a walking tour if you bundle up. In addition, the area around Main and Broadway has great holiday light displays within walking distance of one another.

The Holiday Lights Tour Guide will be updated over the holidays.

We’re going to begin our Holiday Lights Tour on Vancouver’s east side.

First stop …

Holiday Lights, 100 block Victoria Drive, Vancouver. Videographer: Ken Jason Dundas.

2702 Kitchener Street, at Slocan; from the 2400 block of Kitchener to the 2700 block there are a number of wonderful holiday light displays, such as this one …

2621 Kitchener Street

3163 East 16th Avenue

Next it’s up to the Killarney area …

3168 East 46th Avenue

Now, you’re going to have to decide whether you want to travel over to 6080 Ross Street, which is near 41st and Knight, a ways out of the way, 6080 Ross Street

And then it’s over to the Renfrew Collingwood neighourhood …

3540 / 3542 Price Street, near Rupert Street

3191 East 22nd Avenue , at Windermere

East 18th Avenue and Renfrew Street

East 16th and Kaslo Street

Kaslo Court and Kaslo Terrace, 2765 Co-operative Way, just off the Grandview Highway, nearby the Italian Cultural Centre

Lakewood and East 5th Avenue

2500 block Kitchener Street | a gentrified block, almost all new, maxed out to 2400 sq. ft. homes — a well-kept street, though.

1800 block Grant & Kitchener, surrounding Grandview Park, including on Salsbury Drive, just off Victoria Drive

Grant Street and Semlin Drive

2008 Victoria Drive, at 4th Avenue

Victoria Drive and East 7th Avenue

Victoria Street and East 8th Avenue

Commercial Drive and 6th Avenue

2002 East 12th Avenue, at Semlin Drive

3542 Ontario, at 17th and Ontario

2930 Ontario Street

Group of homes between 14th & 15th on Ontario, 2800 to 3000 block

And further afield, close to the Fraser River, in the southeastern part of the city, in the Marpole neighbourhood, there’s 2597 East Kent Avenue North.

351 W 22nd Avenue (near Cambie and 18th)

Now, we have some good news: the Canuck Place Children’s Hospice, celebrating its 25th anniversary, is open to the public, so that’s definitely on the 2020 Holiday Lights Tour.

Canuck Place is located at 1690 Matthews, which is about three blocks south of 16th Avenue and Granville — just turn right onto Matthews, drive a couple of blocks, and voilà, the spectacular, not-to-be-missed Canuck Place Children’s Hospice Christmas Lights Display!

Canuck Place Children’s Hospice Christmas Lights Display, 1690 Matthews Avenue.

After walking around Canuck Place we’ll stay on Vancouver’s west side, driving into the Arbutus Ridge area …

351 West 22nd Avenue (near Cambie and 18th)

King Edward and Valley Drive, near Arbutus Village

3708 West 27th Avenue

4690 Blenheim Street

The lights of Vancouver and the North Shore, as seen from Puget Drive, in Vancouver

2195 West 15th Avenue

Next, it’s to VanRamblings’ home neighbourhood …

2915 Waterloo Street, at 13th Avenue, on the southwest corner

West 12th Avenue and Blenheim Street, NE corner

West 12th Avenue and Blenheim Street, NW corner

2760 Waterloo Street, east side of the street, near West 12th Avenue

Near West 11th Avenue, on Waterloo Street, in Kitsilano.

Next, it’s a drive down to Jericho Beach, to see the Royal Vancouver Yacht Club (above) all lit up. And then for a walk down Point Grey Road.

Hastings Mill Park, east of both the Royal Vancouver Yacht Club and Jericho Beach, next to Hastings Mill, and down from Alma Street

The photo below, Lululemon founder Chip Wilson’s home, along Point Grey Road between Alma and Macdonald streets where there are many holiday light homes to be discovered. Great for a walking tour.

</ br>The The photo directly above was taken by photographer Elvira Lount, who tells us there are great many more holiday lit homes along Point Grey Road, as may be seen in on her Facebook timeline.

And now doubling back a bit to return to Waterloo Street, at 5th Avenue …

West 5th Avenue & Waterloo Street, across the street from McBride Park

West 5th Avenue and Balaclava

In fact, the whole stretch of Stephens Street, from West 5th Avenue to Broadway — including the avenues along Stephens, on both sides — offers wondrous light displays.

West 5th Avenue and Stephens Street

Next, on the second leg of the 2020 Holiday Lights Tour (it breaks down into four parts), we drive down the hill to enjoy Granville Island’s Festive Lights Display, with a drive around the Island.

Entrance to Granville Island

And now a photo of the Burrard Street bridge and Beach Avenue, taken from Granville Island, a site not to be missed when visiting the Island …

After Granville Island’s Festive Lights Display, we’ll drive over the Burrard Street bridge, and head over to …

Bute and Nelson (and you’ll want to see St. Paul’s holiday lights, too)

Hotels: In the EVO car we’ll be renting this year, as we have in past years (we can’t wait until they start adding electric vehicles to their low emission fleet), we’ll park — for free, cuz that’s the deal EVO has cut with the city — somewhere near Sutton Place, kitty corner to the Scotiabank Cinema at Burrard and Smithe, and embark on our tour of the downtown hotels.

The Sutton Place Hotel (formerly Le Meridien), on Burrard Street

In years past, back in the 90s, when we were an arts and entertainment editor for various newspapers and magazines, we discovered that the downtown hotels go out of their way to put up first-class holiday displays in their lobbies … so, as we’ve done for the past quarter century, we’ll start off at the Sutton Place Hotel on Burrard, and then saunter down to the Hyatt Regency, at Burrard and Georgia where there’ll be trees but unfortunately, due to COVID-19 restrictions there’ll be no gingerbread displays made by students at public and private schools, and post secondary institutions, as in years past.

Gingerbread Lane at the Hyatt will return during the holiday season, in 2021

Next, it’s over to the Hotel Vancouver, and then up the street to the Rosewood Hotel Georgia, and then back to our EVO car.

We’ll then drive to the Pan Pacific / Fairmont Waterfront Hotel. As much as we love wandering through both those hotels, the real rationale in parking near those hotels comes with 2 engaging features: the walkway along the west side of Canada Place, and the annual Woodwards windows displays — which, sad to say, is not happening this year due to COVID-19 restrictions.

After we’ve enjoyed the nippy air along the Canada Place walkway, we’ll wander over to the Pan Pacific and Fairmont Waterfront, before heading out again. Ordinarily, we’d drive next to Poole Plaza for the Christmas Market, but it’s been postponed to 2021, so instead we’ll drive next to English Bay to see the lights city staff place on the trees along Pacific Avenue, after which we’ll drive along Denman Street towards Stanley Park, for a drive around the park. Ordinarily, we’d stop off at the Vancouver Fire Department’s Burn Fund Bright Nights Display (with a $10 bill ready to put into the pot) — but that’s not happening in 2020 due to COVID-19.

All and all, Bright Nights is very popular, and just jam-packed, so it seems that it’s fitting that it’s closed in 2020 … so a leisurely drive around Stanley Park (stopping for awhile at Brockton Point) it’ll be, moving onto the roadway just this side of Prospect Point to get onto the exit leading to the Lions Gate Bridge, after which we’ll take the enjoyable drive out to Horseshoe Bay, where we can see the lights of the Metro Vancouver region. In years past, at Megan’s insistence, we’d also enjoy the holiday light displays in the British Properties (little wonder, I sometimes think to myself, that Megan has turned into such a bougie woman, mother & wife at 43 years of age).

On the way back from Horseshoe Bay, we’ll take the lower road, to enjoy the closeness to the water. VanRamblings employs the royal “we”, but in fact for the first time in 50 years, “we” may consist solely of Raymond Neil Tomlin, given the exigencies of the COVID-19 pandemic, and our ever smaller bubble — which, sad to say, does not include my children. Alas.

Next up, it’s the Dundarave Festival of Lights, which as the good folks at The Daily Hive point out “offers BC’s biggest outdoor display of Christmas trees.” By this time, we’ll be famished, so it’ll be time for a bite to eat. Last year, on our Christmas Eve lights tour, a friend and I stopped off at the Park Royal Cactus Club Cafe, where we shared mini burgers, yam fries, with me enjoying a cup of clam chowder, and my friend a small Caesar salad.

By now, it’ll be about 8:30pm (we began our holiday lights tour trek just before 2:30pm, from our west side Kitsilano home), and we’re patting ourselves on the back for having completed legs two and three of our annual, of late, spectacular and revivifying four leg holiday lights tour.

Reporter Elisia Sleeber at the North Shore News has compiled a definitive of the 2020 holiday light displays in North Vancouver.

1279 Keith Road

1382 Wellington Drive, Lynn Valley

Henderson and Burrill Avenues, Lynn Valley

1512 Ross Road

423 East 10th Street

2308 Hoskins Road

3698 Sparrow Lane

2235 Badger Road

You can create your own multi-address route guide by clicking on this video to discover how, which is what we did with the addresses directly above.

The Trinity Street Light Festival and competition in East Vancouver stretches six blocks across the Hastings-Sunrise enclave of Burrardview, the often dazzling light displays strung up by neighbours has been a glowing holiday fixture since 2000. A must-not miss.

Now, it’s over the Ironworkers Memorial Bridge to Trinity Street, on Vancouver’s east side, near the waterfront — depending on how tuckered we are, we may walk the entire length, rather than drive along the street.

There are many, many more light displays throughout Burnaby, the Tri-Cities / Coquitlam, Surrey-North Delta and Richmond, some of which may be found not only in the links below, but covered on VanRamblings, as well.

News1130 | 2020 Christmas Lights and Virtual Events Spotter.

Vancouver Sun | Vancouver Sun’s annual holiday lights map

To Do Canada | Christmas Lights & Holiday Displays In & Around Vancouver

VanRamblings’ best to all of our readers during this most festive season. May you thrive this holiday season, and over the course of this most unusual pandemic holiday season find much love and solace in your life.

Now: Burnaby, Coquitlam, Surrey-North Delta, Langley + Richmond.

Continue reading VanRamblings’ Annual Metro Vancouver Holiday Lights Tour →

Stories of a Life | Raymond & Cathy Marry 50 Years Ago Today

December 19, 2020Jude and Megan, Stories of a Life, VanRamblingsRaymond Tomlin

Cathy Janie McLean and Raymond Neil Tomlin were married at Pilgrim United Church in North Edmonton, the church Cathy had attended with her family since moving to Edmonton to begin high school, on a near frozen Edmonton Saturday, December 19th, 1970 afternoon, at 1:30 p.m.
Outside the sun shone, the weather a nippy but not unseasonable -35°. There were several in attendance who expressed their dismay that the sun was streaming into the church during the ceremony, something which I never quite understood. For me, it was like being blessed by God.
The marriage occurred almost a year-to-the-day since I had first met a bedraggled dirty-blonde, long-haired Cathy, very much a hippie, huddling with her friend and University of Alberta roommate, Joy, who were at the Royal Towers Hotel in New Westminster, as we waited for the Greyhound bus to transport us into Vancouver. Long story short, Cathy and I, and Joy and my friend Charles, hung out over the next few days, prior to Cathy and Joy returning to Edmonton. In the spring of 1970, I hitchhiked out to Edmonton, without any prior notice to Cathy of my intention to do so, and stayed with Cathy for a week, when we made love for the first time.
Cathy travelled out to Vancouver with her mother that summer in 1970, and rather than return home with her mother, Cathy remained in Vancouver. By mid-August the two of us were living together. Four months later, on Saturday, December 19th, 1970 the two of us were married.

The best man at my wedding was Bren Traff. Here’s a very brief, 6-second clip of Bren recorded in 1967, as he was starting off his CKLG 20-20 newscast. Later Bren would take over weekend CKLG-AM mornings, and later still, with almost every other deejay in town, move to a renewed CFUN — which had dropped its money-losing CKVN, Vancouver’s Voice of News format, returning to a tried-and-true rock ‘n roll format in the 1970s. Bren had been my best friend from 1966, right through until February 1972, which is a story to be told on VanRamblings another day.

In addition, another friend of mine, Hal Weaver — who, at the time, was the morning rock jock at CKVN — asked if he could be a co-best man at the wedding; I asked Cathy if that was alright with her, and she said it was fine. At some point, I’ll write about the last show, on CJOR from midnight to 6 a.m. Hal performed, a show he called Sunday Morning Coming Down, flat out the best radio programme in all of Vancouver radio history.
Hal Weaver is considered by many to have been one of the best, straight ahead Canadian-born rock jocks — a title he shares with others, including Daryl B. and Terry David Mulligan. Hal had a dynamic personality and voice to match. In 1968, J. Robert Wood hired him at CHUM Toronto, where he stayed for two years before moving to Vancouver’s CKVN in 1970. Hal died of throat cancer at the age of 28 in December, 1971, in Surrey, B.C. At the time Hal asked to be a co-best man, he’d already been diagnosed.

Cathy mother’s Myrtle insisted that Cathy stay at her home, just down the street from the church, in the days leading up to the wedding, while Hal, Bren and I stayed at a nearby hotel. The only time Cathy and I saw one another in the week leading up to our wedding, was when we met with the church pastor to talk about our vows, and our commitment to one another. Most of those meetings with the pastor had Cathy and I arguing with one another — if I recall correctly, the arguments were a consequence of an utter lack of maturity (not to mention, quite a bit of insecurity) on my part.
Cathy also insisted on changing the vows to read, “As long as we both shall love“, from “As long as we both shall live,” a change the pastor opposed, but Cathy dug in her heals on the issue, and of course got her way. That particular changing of the vows should have been the first hint I recognized that this was a marriage not to last for the long term — but I was so head over heels in love with Cathy that the thought never occurred to me.
[A digression. I would like to present photos of our wedding at this juncture in today’s story, but I have no photographs of the wedding in my possession — when we divided up our belongings in the early 1980s, Cathy took possession of the wedding photos, more to please her mother than for any other reason … my children tell me she still has the wedding album]
Nonetheless, Cathy and I were married, spending our wedding night at a fancy downtown Edmonton hotel, a gift from her mother (along with a brand new car she’d bought the two of us — recently, I’ve written about my daughter being a little too bourgeoise for my tastes; that well-practiced bougie aspect of how Megan presents herself to the world, and lives her life, comes directly from her mother & grandmother, the latter a Southam).
As you can see in the photo atop today’s column, I was pretty much smitten with Cathy (I think the only other person I know who looks at his wife as I do in the photo above is Seth Klein, when he looks at his wife, Christine Boyle). Once at the hotel, Cathy and I did what we usually did — we got stoned, which was a major feature of our life together during my university years in the early 1970s, along with a very active sex life.
Together, the two of us watched a Peter Sellers movie (although he had only a small part), The Wrong Box, on TV, snuggling with one another on the bed. About half an hour into watching the show, and nicely buzzed, Cathy retreated to the washroom, emerging in a blue, diaphanous and very short silk negligee — which, as you might imagine, did not remain a part of her dress for very long. We woke up the next morning very tired, indeed.
The marriage was a tempestuous one, not troubled exactly, but demanding at times, and overall for the first seven years, a great deal of fun, filled with love, betrayal, travel, an immense amount of sex (five times a day, every day for a decade, sometimes more), and on my part, a great deal of learning on how to be a productive and influential person in this world, as for all the years we were married, Cathy dressed me (“This is what you’re wearing today.”), edited my essays and other writing, and transformed me from an east side slum dwelling kid devoid of social skills into a presentable, and sometimes erudite young man. No Cathy, no Raymond Tomlin, at least not the Raymond Tomlin you have all come to know.